Grenshaft
by Kaeru Shisho
Summary: Zelgadiss travels to a distance land in search of happiness and meets an intriguing male companion, but will it prove to be his lifemate, or another disappointment? Warning: yaoi slash male x male pairing
1. Gorm harbor

**Grenshaft**

**Warning: yaoi/slash/male x malesexual situations. If that isn't to your taste, please read no further.**

– **Part One --**

**Gorm Harbor**

* * *

"Ohhh..." the air rushed out past his lips. The touches were cool and gently tickled his ear, then a warm mouth pressed against his neck and sucked on a rock jutting out from the stony skin surface.

It felt so good, but it wasn't right, right down to the smell of fresh salt air.

"What the...?" Zel shouted as he shot up from his bed roll, crumpled under a hastily-constructed lean-to tent. His right hand grappled with the sword at his side that was trapped in his blanket, his left slapped at his exposed neck, beating away at ghosts.

Nothing. Nothing but the night. Nothing but the cold, clear blackness. An icy wind blew through the pine trees and with a glance skywards, the sparkling, stars winked out as smoky clouds crowded the view.

"Damn it all," the stone-skinned young man swore aloud.

Another dream.

The dreams had begun crowding his nights some years ago, then, just as abruptly, they stopped. It was as if someone was teasing him with tantalizing feelings, then removing them to leave him feel bereft of even his dream lover. He thought the annoyance had passed, but recently, the dreams, if they were dreams, had begun again. But of course they were dreams! What else could they be? Certainly there was no one close by; there never had been. Only in his dreams... Besides, who would want to snuggle up to a man of stone? Only an imaginary lover.

"I have been traveling alone far too long."

He needed the company of his fellow humans, like them or not, or like 'him' or not, Zelgadiss had need of human fellowship. He looked up and opened his mouth wide and felt an icy moistness on his tongue. A delicate snowflake melted there, another rested on his nose, another on his eyelashes, but those landing on his exterior surfaces he couldn't feel. Few places were sensitive to touch or temperature on his body; a blessing in battle, a curse in intimacy.

Snow. The scent of the ocean from his dream surfaced again, replaying in his mind a moment.

"Maybe I need to visit the coast and breathe the sea air again. Fall's over in the mountains, apparently," he sighed.

Zel drew in a deep, complete lung-full of the forest air, infused with crushed fir needle incense. "Time for another change."

After crossing the parched desert last spring, he'd been thankful for the cool relief that the higher altitude and shaded woods afforded him. His lungs could discern temperature and comfort even if his tough golem skin could not.

Another snowflake clung to the wire, which was his hair, overhanging his face. "Better get moving now," he thought.

He kicked out the fire with his worn boot. Yes, it was time to be descending to the lower altitudes. He had begun his descent off the high mountain pass a week ago, and it was good that he had. Although his tough outer composition would protect him from the elements for a considerable time, he didn't want to starve in some cave waiting for a blizzard to wear itself out. He was a skilled shaman, able to conjure up a fiery spell to melt a path through the snow, but it burned up energy, and to replenish that he needed to eat, and anything worth hunting and eating had already migrated to the warmer hills and valleys below.

From an outcropping, Zelgadiss had observed a stream wending its way down the mountain and joining a larger river which emptied into the sea. One more week and he would reach the coast, and although his eyes couldn't see it, and if his map was accurate, he would find a town there at the river's confluence with the sea. A settlement for his winter days sounded good to him now.

"Lucky I was able to buy this map at that last outpost." He was in the Outer World where his Seyruun currency was rarely accepted and had been fortunate to find an understanding trader willing to handle a money exchange.

The Outer World: where magic users were either totally unheard of or rare, _still_ after he and Lina and his friends had traveled there more than one hundred years ago. If he was careful, he could sell his arts as a healer and perform a few stunts to pay for his stay– that or get run out of town as a 'dangerous devil.' Both had happened before, and so he had honed his skills to be low-key and helpful.

He shook the lingering memories of the dream from his mind, tied the bedding to his pack, hauled the load to his back, adjusted the straps, and then started toward the stream. He didn't like traveling in the dark, not that he was worried about breaking a leg in a fall, but he needed to unwind.

"Oh well, I can rest all winter," he decided and climbed onwards.

(o)

The beach spread out ahead and to his right. Zelgadiss crossed the river over driftwood planks just before it widened to flood into the sea. The sun was an hour or so from rising, but the sky was lightening already to a fine cool gray with smudges of charcoal clouds. The tide was out, leaving a hard-packed base of damp sand to walk on and a litter of broken shells and jellyfish parts to avoid. If he squinted, he could pick out a fleet of fishing dinghies with lanterns winking from atop their masts as they headed out past a low wharf toward the open sea. There would be fresh fish later, he thought with a smile.

It was, in fact, Zel's lucky day. He arrived in the beach town of Gorm Harbor on an open-market day. That meant that there would be other strangers and travelers present, and possibly he wouldn't be such a standout. It was still early morning, the sun having just risen, so he moved at a brisk walk past the market as the stands were set up, the produce and wares unpacked and laid out. There were more than five inns, that he could count, so he chose one the furthest on the outskirts of town and arranged for a room by the week. Paying would be a problem since his Seyruun coins would not be recognizable.

"Yer lucky. Last single room. Market day, ye must know," the innkeeper told him.

"Can I pay you half in a day and the rest at the end of the week?" Zel asked. "I need to convert my gold to the local coinage."

"I can tell by yer accent that ye not be from parts around. I got work cuttin' wood out back. Pay fer a day."

Zel noticed the man eyeing his sword. "That's very generous. I'll see to that before dark."

The innkeeper handed him the keys. "Deal."

Zelgadiss took the key. "Thanks. Can I get a breakfast here?"

The man straightened his shoulders and recited, "To yer left is the dining room, up the stairs and the third room to yer right is yer room. Breakfast 6:30AM till 10:00, then dinner 12:00 till 2:00, then we close until supper, which runs from 5:00 to 11:00PM. We're open fer drinks only after that till 1:00. Then we close up."

"Thanks," Zel pulled his hood closer to his face and looked for the stairs. He wanted to clean up before eating. "Oh, do I pay extra for a bath?"

"Only if ye want a girl to wash yer back," the innkeeper said with all seriousness.

"Not necessary," Zel muttered and took the stairs two at a time.

He soaked long and hot and felt immeasurably better by the time he dressed in the cleanest clothes he had and returned to the desk. "Is there a laundry?"

The innkeeper saw a chance to make some money. "Ye be plannin' on stayin' awhile?"

Zel nodded. "The winter, if..." he paused, letting his hood fall to his shoulders, exposing his odd appearance to the other man's scrutiny, and looked the other man dead-on before continuing, "...I am welcome."

"Ye gods, what happened to ye man?"

"I'm a traveler and where I came from had magic users, some driven by evil motives. One cursed me. I'm a man underneath all this, like you." Zelgadiss stood quietly and waited. Either the other man accepted him and his explanation, or he didn't.

"Ye do this magic craft, too?"

"Depends."

"I got a little girl. Alice, she's called; my youngest. She's always wanted to ice skate on the pond out back. Trouble is, here it never freezes over, not that much." The man looked at Zel awaiting his response.

"You want to know if I can make the pond freeze over?" Zel asked. "Show me where it is."

It would be no problem, Zel decided, after seeing that it wasn't a large lake. "After breakfast. It will consume more energy than I have right now."

The innkeeper shrugged, adding cordially, "Sure, ye go and eat."

An hour later, Zelgadiss and a small crowd were gathered beside the inn's pond. His eyes were closed. He was summoning the power he would need, calling on the elemental water "spirits," and then he whispered an incantation followed by a shout of "Astral Freeze!"

The folks gasped in awe at the burst of light from his out-stretched hands. Pale blue energy shot out, hitting the water's surface and causing it to glow. And eldritch crackle of rapidly forming ice, expanding and pushing up sharp spikes at the edges, rose to a roar as the entire pond chilled and hardened within seconds. A woman shrieked, a dog howled, a few men swore, and then it was over.

Zel lowered his arms and stepped up to the icy edge. Too sharp for little girls to play near, he determined. So, he walked around the jagged delimitation, applying an alternating fire and ice spell to gently melt the pond's edge into a uniform rounded border framing the entire pond.

"I-Is it safe?" the innkeeper asked.

Zelgadiss carefully stepped upon the ice so as not to slip and fall on the slippery surface, then strode to the center and jumped up and down. "I weigh more than five average men, so I'd say it is safe."

He returned to the edge just as little Alice tiptoed out and took a brave step onto the ice. "It's beautiful," she declared. "Thanks, mister," she said as she hugged Zel by the leg. "You're hard."

"Yes, but only on the outside," he said with a smile.

Alice stared up at his curious face, and then nodded. "Okay. Can I skate now?"

"Let's go ask your father," Zel said, wisely having learned that caution was the best course among strangers, and led her to the cluster of attendant adults.

The innkeeper gave his daughter permission, but said that she must go inside and change clothes first. Turning toward Zelgadiss with a smile, he said, "Put whatever ye be needing cleaned, boots included, in the basket in yer room and set it outside yer door, anytime. My wife'll have it all fixed up fer ye in no time. She sews too, if ye be wantin' mendin' done. Fair enough trade?"

"Yes. That's fine with me. I'll do that, then I think I'll head down to the market," Zel reached for his hood to cover his head.

"Ye won't be needin' that." The man smiled at Zel's quizzical expression. "By now, word's out about what ye did fer us and by the time yer there, everyone will know about ye. Just be polite and I think you'll be fine here."

Zel matched his smile with one of his own, "Thank you, sir. I'll give it a try. I'll be back to chop that wood and have dinner."

"It'll be waitin' ye," the man said.

It was a good start.

(o)

**Grenshaft the Swordmaker**

"Oh, ah...one more thing you might be able to help me with," Zel began.

The first order of business was for Zel to acquire some local currency. All he had to trade were some magic amulets, a few gem stones, gold bullion, and a very fine hunting knife. He needed to make a fair deal and not get tricked.

"The assessor fer yer gold and stones is the bank, which isn't open today. Might try the swordsmith and local blacksmith fer the knife," the innkeeper added, and then sent him on the right path.

The half mile walk was a 'stroll in the park', as they say, compared to the journeys he was used to. The roads were meticulously maintained, holes filled and ready for the coming of the winter storms, he guessed. The huge barn-like building stood out in the clearing. He trotted up to the open door and let himself in.

"Hello!" Zelgadiss called out.

A large man hammering a long red-hot length of future sword looked up and nodded curtly. "Look around. Be with you shortly!"

Zelgadiss recognized the usual accessories, implements, and accouterments of a small town blacksmith, but hung from the rafters along one end of the cavernous work shed was a specialized wooden structure designed to hold a wide assortment of swords. A few weapons were in place, but many empty slots were visible.

The pounding stopped and Zel was left with a slight ringing in his ears due to the sharp noise disturbing his demon-sensitive hearing. He could make out the man's face, mouth moving, but not what he was saying. He shook his head, wincing.

The pounding stopped. "I said, 'What can I help you with?'" the sword maker repeated.

"Sorry. Sensitive ears." He pointed to his uncovered left ear, which shot upwards through his wiry hair with a long pointed tip.

"Long ones, too," the blacksmith added with a grin. "You're not from around here, I can see."

"That's right. I have a knife I'm looking to trade– for local currency. The innkeeper suggested I see you."

The sword maker held out a hand, nonplused by the stranger's appearance, "I'm called Grenshaft . I'll take a look."

"Zelgadiss," Zel said, finishing the introductions with a brisk hand shake. He removed his blade from its cover and offered it handle-first.

"Whew, baby! You have been traveling in far-off parts. Unusual markings."

Zel had to smile slightly. The man's use of the word 'baby' seemed strangely out of character for such a big, tough looking fellow. The man wore dark pants and a black leather apron that covered the front of his chest and hung well below his knees. His upper torso was otherwise bare revealing a muscular chest bristling with curly dark hair. On his head grew thick, curly black hair that just covered his ears. "Strapping" was the descriptive word that came to Zel's mind when he appraised Grenshaft.

"Yes, I'm from the other side of the Great Barrier, you know, the one that fell a hundred or so years ago. Those are..." Zel hesitated to say 'elvish' not knowing if the man would think he was kidding him.

"Elvish runes, I think, although I've only seen them in books. I've never actually held one before. You want to sell this?"

"Yes. I need money the locals will accept and until I find a job, I must trade what I can. Are you interested?"

"Immensely. I just don't know how to evaluate its worth. Tell you what; let's discuss the price over lunch."

"I'd like that, but I just ate a little while ago. Can I--?" Zel cast his eyes over the hanging sword assortment again. "May I look at those? You can tell me about them. Nice saber on top."

"Suits me fine. Now that there's a cavalry-sword, stout v-shaped blade, thick back, nice curve to the handle. Would you like to try it out? Here, I'll take the one below it, heavier, and we can have a go over there?"

Grenshaft indicated a wide open spot in the building. Zel agreed and tested the weight of the light sword first before removing his belt and sheathed sword. He had made many an acquaintance over a sword, mostly unfriendly in nature, but this man put him at ease immediately.

Grenshaft removed his apron. "You'll overheat with that cloak and tunic. Pile them over there."

"I'm–"

"I know, I know, covered with rock. I have seen your face. Won't bother me at all."

Zel shook his head and smiled in disbelief. "You say that now, but just wait."

Both men stripped to the waist.

"Unusual. You aren't part elf, by chance?" the big man asked.

"No, that would have been nice, though, if I had. I might have avoided becoming a...chimera," Zel said, stumbling over the descriptive word. He thought he caught a touch of admiration the other man's expression, but shook off that notion.

Grenshaft shrugged his indifference and swung his sword into an attack position. "You might have turned out too small," was all Grenshaft said without further explanation.

Zel hadn't time to ponder the words, as he had to leap to avoid contact with his aggressor. They began to test one another. A thrust, a parry, Zelgadiss moved lightening quick and drew first blood, a tiny controlled prick. Grenshaft grinned and adjusted his stance. He could move gracefully for a large man, and if any of his powerful strokes connected, he could cause massive damage. _If._

"You're a quick fellow for being rock," the man said appreciatively.

"It's only on the surface," Zel said, but the words had distracted him enough to miss a beat. "I'm part blau demon as well. Ah!"

_Clang!_ Grenshaft's blade bounced off Zelgadiss' forearm.

"Stop!" Grenshaft shouted. "Are you all right? Let me see!"

"I'm fine. Look, no blood, no marks, no damage," Zel assured the distressed man.

"Whoa... what a fine surface. Flexible yet rock-hard. Amazing. It's even more flexible when you are relaxed. Truly remarkable."

Zel closed his eyes in ecstasy. The man's hands had moved to his back, his strong fingers massaging from his shoulder blades to his neck for a few moments, caressing his freakish golem skin with adoring curiosity. Zel thought that he should be annoyed by the man's invasion of his privacy that way, but he was so caring, so attentive, and so skilled. He was awakened from his state of bliss by a sound slap on the back.

"Most impressive! I would like to create a suit of mail to rival that! I'm starving now. Let's go eat. I know the best place. You like fish? You'd better!"

(o)

They were joined at the long table by a trio of men, apparently friends of the sword maker. Zel caught their names and memorized their faces for future reference. "Strom, red hair like a strawberry; Tanner, bronzed; Flenet, fair."

He ate and drank the local ale with relish. How long had it been since he shared a table with a group? Decades?

"Zel here's a talented swordsman," Grenshaft said by way of introduction.

"Not much use hereabouts. Should go to the next kingdom. I hear they're lookin' fer mercenaries," the flaxen-haired Flenet remarked.

"Ye be hearin' all kinds of things that ain't true," snorted the brown-skinned Tanner. "Fishin' an' huntin' here. You good with a bow?"

Zelgadiss nodded. "You might say so." It was a magical one, but his 'Flare Arrow' was deadly.

"Ye can really freeze water with a dance?" the freckled red-head interrupted suddenly and with consternation.

"No, with an incantation." Zel did a little slight-of-hand and added a coating of frost to the man's beer mug.

The man gasped. "Ye could freeze my blood!"

"Not hardly," Grenshaft chuckled. "You're too hot blooded!" For Zel's benefit he added as an aside, "Not only is he quick to pick a fight, but he's got ten children and one more on the way."

The men all laughed in familiar comradery. He had effectively deflected the man's fear of the stranger with a light-hearted jibe at his friend's temper and potency. From that point on, the conversation turned to the local goings-on, after which the men split up to return to work.

"Come on back with me and we'll agree on a price for that Elvish knife," Grenshaft said. He looked askance at Zel then dropped his voice. "You shouldn't display your magic so openly. Many people here are mistrustful of it." He cleared his throat, and went on, "You are thinking of staying in town, aren't you?"

Zel folded his arms across his chest as if to contain his magic that way, then answered, "Ah...yes, for a week at least, all winter if it works out for me here."

"That's good," Grenshaft said with a smile. "Let's go then."

A price was arrived at quickly. Zelgadiss found the man knew his skill was in making blades not in arguing price, and so was given a remarkably good exchange. Zel watched as Grenshaft pulled out his coin bag and counted out the price. The man would also sharpen Zel's own sword while he waited. "Just have to stoke up the fire here again," he said, explaining the delay.

"How much heat do you need?" Zel asked. "I can control all the elements, including fire."

Grenshaft straightened up and smiled. "Well, then, I think you've found a job in town. If you can keep the fire going and controlled within the working parameters I require, then I can get twice as much work done. I haven't had a partner in many years."

"I'm honored. You hardly know me or what I can do. Let's give it try first," Zel suggested.

They spent the afternoon learning how to work together. It wasn't hard to like the man, Zelgadiss found, and the work was both fulfilling and interesting. It was starting to get dark, when Zelgadiss noticed his was getting hungry again. He hated to leave, but he had other obligations.

"I have to go," Zel said, finally stopping. "I promised my landlord to chop firewood before dark."

"Not with that sword, I hope. Not after we just sharpened it."

"No, and not with an axe either. I'll use a couple spells, but I'll do it secretly."

"Good idea. Promise you'll think about my offer?" Grenshaft asked.

"I will. To tell you the truth, I doubt that even if I had a better alternative I'd say 'no'. I really want to give you the opportunity to sleep on it, though. I won't be hurt if you change your mind in the morning."

"I won't. Why don't we just decide you'll do it and shake on it. In a month, if your bored, I'll understand you wanting to move on."

"Very well," Zel grasped the strong hand with enthusiasm. "Thanks for trusting me."

On his way back to the inn, Zel stopped by a few on the booths to admire the wares. Sound, sweet apples looked appealing for snacking. He bought a few food items and a couple bottles of a local valley wine. With winter coming he might as well invest in some new socks, winter-weight long underwear, a scarf, and lined gloves. He could tolerate the cold, but why be uncomfortable unnecessarily?

"Ribbons for your girlfriend's hair?" a vendor called out to him.

He started to shake his head, and then thought again. Alice wore a ribbon in her hair. He hadn't bought a gift for anyone in a long time.

"I'll take four...of different colors," he said.

As he left the square and headed back to the inn, he was unconscious of the rumors his purchase stirred up. Who was this stranger's girlfriend? What was she like? Would he bring her to town now that he was settling in? Word of his partnership with the blacksmith was already in circulation, too. Zel's thoughts were simple. He still had enough money to pay his week's rent and the promise of more money in the future as he headed back to the inn.

Yes, it was a very good start.

**End Grenshaft, Part One**


	2. Settling In

**Grenshaft**

**Zelgadiss meets an intriguing male companion, but will it prove to be his life-mate, or another disappointment? Warning: male x male sexual content!**

– **Part Two --**

**Settling In**

* * *

That night Zelgadiss had another arousing dream.

Hands strong enough to knead his body into a malleable material worked him over. He was certain that a smooth-skin body rested over his; a male one, possibly. He felt no breasts upon his chest, but then, had he ever? His experience with women had been extremely limited, abrupt, and un-fulfilling. Most women wanted a man pliant enough to hold them, and the ones that didn't were disgusting people, he felt. He had more opportunities to observe men, like at hot springs, and found them intriguing, but nothing had ever some of those contacts. It seemed that men either wanted to kill him, ignore him, or use him for their own aims.

Having a relationship based on love was out of the picture entirely. Zelgadiss had long stopped caring whether a partner should be female or male. It hardly mattered, since he was rejected by both. As a result, outside of his dream realm, sex with another human was out of the question. After awhile, he gave up trying and kept to himself on his solitary journeys, avoiding the issue.

Non-humans were another thing, something he had pushed deep down and buried. He had made a mistake long ago, and as much as he had tried to forget it, he was still haunted by the experience. The "issue" could not be entirely avoided, only tightly controlled.

He arose that morning, pushing back all memories of his dream, and began a routine he would keep up for several weeks. He started each day breakfasting in the inn's dining room, and then he'd walk the mile to the smithy. There, he and Grenshaft would review the work for the day, whether it be items dropped off for repair, orders, or swords to create.

Zelgadiss would set a controlled fire for the work, tempering it to within a fine degree which would be precisely correct for each task. He caught on quickly to whatever new jobs needed doing. The two men would break for lunch, usually joining the other three friends, but not always. After eating, they would return to the smelter and anvil until sun set. On market days, they would end earlier and do their independent shopping.

At the end of the day, Zelgadiss would return to his solitary room at the inn, where later he would join the inn keeper and occasionally other patrons for dinner and conversation. He'd end his day with reading. The inn had a shelf of history books, of which Zel availed himself. Often he would fall asleep, book in hand. On those nights he would dream.

One afternoon, when he and Grenshaft were shutting down for the day, Zelgadiss asked, "Grenshaft, where are you from? You don't talk like the other folks, you're educated, and you are familiar with elves, who do not even appear in the local legends."

Grenshaft paused before answering thoughtfully, "You are an astute observer, Zel. I'll tell you, then. My parents were travelers, like you, from the other side, your side, of the Great Barrier. My father knew sword craft and taught me the trade, building this place. My mother was an educated woman who collected books and read to me from them. They took ill and died when I was twenty, leaving me this place."

"Hmm, have you ever wanted to travel yourself?"

"Yes, but not alone."

They fell to silence, both considering what had been said, and what had been left unsaid.

When Zelgadiss arrived at the inn that evening, he sensed something was wrong. The inn keeper was not at his desk; instead, a young man from the kitchen was standing nervously awaiting customers.

"Temphor, what are you doing up front?" Zelgadiss asked with his own growing anxiety.

"Master Zelgadiss, Miss Alice fell on the ice. I think someone pushed her down. Her leg is broken! The healer's been called, but–"

"Alice! Where is she now?"

Temphor pointed to the hall opposite the kitchen, saying, "A spare room down the hall."

"Thanks," Zel shouted over his shoulder as he sped away at demon-speed.

After trying two locked doors, he found the right one and stuck his head into the room. "Alice?" he called to her.

Alice didn't answer. Zel noticed immediately that her face had an unhealthy pale cast. He paused just inside the door, scanning the room for other occupants, stopping back at the bed where she lay immobile. At her bedside was her mother.

"Ah, Zelgadiss... She's out cold. Her head hit hard..." the inn keeper's wife choked out between sniffles.

"I need more water. Boiling!" demanded the healer.

In the past, Zel knew that he wouldn't have gotten involved. It was unwise to get involved. People feared and distrusted freaks, especially freaks employing evil magic. He had learned that it was best to just turn away and mind his own business. But things were different for Zel now, this place was different, this little girl was important. So, instead of backing off and retreating to his private room, Zelgadiss dashed forward– to action.

"She needs more than that." Zelgadiss pushed to the little girl's side and checked her head for contusions. He found a swelling lump in back. "I'm going to turn her to her side and treat this first," he explained. "Don't be afraid," he added as an aside to the worried mother.

His hands hovered over the little girl's face as a glowing light grew from his palms, then spread to encompass her entire head. He was focused on the task at hand, but he could hear the gasps of concern behind him.

"What's he doing?" cried out the healer.

Zel remained silent and shook his head. He needed to concentrate to keep the spell steady and strong. He could see the color returning to her face, the circles disappearing from beneath her eyes. His spell was working, but until she awoke he wouldn't know if the repairs had come too late. He prayed silently to his gods as he continued to apply the healing magic, hoping the little girl would be all right.

"Shhh," said the girl's mother.

The inn keeper entered the room, a heavy pot of steaming water in his hands. "Where do ye want this? Oh, Zelgadiss? What's going on?"

"Shhh... he's working his _magix_," his wife whispered with emphasis. "Just set that aside and watch."

There were no more signs of blood clots, seepage, or swelling, so Zelgadiss ended his spell. The glow dissipated, Zel rested his hands on either side of the girl's head, and called to her. "Alice, wake up."

The damage was repaired, as far as he could tell, but he wouldn't know for sure until she woke up. Her eyelids fluttered, then rose slowly. Seeing his face so near, made the girl smile and say, "I heard you calling me, Mr. Zelgadiss!"

"Yes, I did call you. You were...hurt." He touched her head gently, hardly moving a hair but turning her head slightly to the side. "Does it hurt here?"

"No, but..." Alice pulled a face; pain was still present in her expression. "...something aches so!"

"The bump...it's...gone," remarked the healer in awe. "How did ye do that? It's very wonderful what ye can do, but also very suspicious."

Zelgadiss straightened and looked at the woman directly. "I realize that. You are unaccustomed to the power of white magic, but it's not dangerous. All the priests and priestesses of the shrines where I came from are taught how to apply the healing spells." He turned his attention back to Alice. "Where else does it hurt. Show me, Alice."

She grasped her thigh and tears rolled down her cheeks. Now that her attention was drawn to it, she felt the pain intensely, "My leg...I can't move my leg."

"Okay, then sit very still and I'll fix it. Better yet, close your eyes, "Zel said softly and then passed a hand over her head, whispering, "Sleep."

Alice lay motionless as Zel treated her leg in a manner similar to how he had mended her head injury. When he was finished, he stood and told her parents, "She'll be fine now. I placed her under a light sleep spell so she'll rest comfortably all night. In the morning, she'll be good as new."

"Thank you. It's a miracle. Thank you so much. How can we ever repay you?" the inn keeper's wife wept.

"I can use a large dinner and a tall drink to restore my energy," Zel smiled. "No, really, that's all. You know, she's a special little girl to me too. I don't think she's ever noticed how freakish my appearance is, or if she did, she never let on to me. How old is she?"

"Nine," her father beamed proudly. "My youngest and growing up so fast. Thanks to ye, my boy, she will be running around happily tomorrow."

"Yes, she will. I've not met your other children, have I?"

"No, my sons are in the Brennmount Guard. The adjoining kingdom gathers up most the young men into their army."

"They just wrote the other day to tell us that they'll be passing through at winter's end. We'll introduce ye then," his wife offered.

"I'd like that. Thank you. And now, if I might have that dinner?" Zel smiled, but he was serious. The hard work in the afternoon topped by the extended application of magic had drained him.

"Of course!" they told him, and after checking on their sleeping angel once more, they all left the room.

The town healer joined them at a table. She was in awe of his talents, and a bit envious; she was puzzled how to treat the stranger. "Ye will be putting me out of business with that _magix_ of yers," she told Zel.

He shook his head. "Actually, I'm not all that skillful. I learned enough to repair most the damage that can occur in a fight, but I'm useless with common maladies, like a cold, for instance. I know a few useful herbs and poultices, but that's about it. I don't even recognize the familiar plants around here."

The healer smiled, satisfied that his mysterious man was not going to put her out of a job. "I can teach ye the local herb craft, if ye like, but do ye think ye could teach me how to do those healing _magix_ spells of yers?"

That surprised Zel. He had not expected the woman to ask him that. "I can try. I've taught others, but they already had the basic skills. Not everyone can handle magic, so I can't promise it will work for you."

"That's fair enough," she agreed.

"I repeat; I'm not all that good. I knew a young lady, a beautiful shrine priestess by the name of...Sylphiel... I think it was. She was so good she could use a 'recovery' spell to bring the recently dead back to life. She saved a dear old friend of mine." And for a moment, Zel was lost in memories of friends and times long past. Good, but dangerous times.

So, in addition to the work at the smithy with Grenshaft, Zelgadiss met infrequently to trade herb craft information with the local medical representative and he teach her some basic magic healing spells. Zelgadiss' popularity soared and his life improved.

**Hunting Cabin**

"Tomorrow, we don't work. Not for two days," Grenshaft announced.

"Okay..." Zelgadiss said. He wondered what was up, though. He didn't ask. He knew the man never did anything impulsively. Indeed, he didn't have long to wait to find out what else his mentor had on his mind.

"Pheasant are thick in the woods now, making it a good time for hunting. A change from fish, right?"

Zel nodded. "You mean to go hunting, then?"

"I have a cabin a ways off, half day's easy hike. Would you like to join me? The company would be nice; that is, if you aren't sick of seeing my face and hearing my stories." Grenshaft smiled quickly.

"Not at all. I'd like the change myself." Zelgadiss was secretly thrilled. He enjoyed the time spent in Grenshaft's company immensely, and was deeply moved that the man would invite him along when he had far better friends like Strom, Tanner, and Flenet, whom he could have invited instead. "Anything else besides birds?"

"Coons, but they can be a bit greasy for my tastes, rabbit, wild turkeys in the lower elevations, bears– often tough and grainy-textured in these parts– and elk sometimes. Problem with the bigger animals is packing them back out."

Zel's turn to smile. He levitated a 500lb anvil with a spell, no touch required. "I think I can help with that problem."

Grenshaft laughed after grumbling a little, accusing Zelgadiss of being a showoff, and causing Zel to join in with a few chuckles of his own. This was what he had been missing for so many years, camaraderie, a friend to share a laugh with and a non-essential task to look forward to. A hunting party.

The next day they headed out on a trail behind the shop. Grenshaft lived in a house attached to the large building. Zel knocked on his door and was greeted by the larger man toting a heavy-looking backpack. "You have room for another blanket in your bag? You can never tell if mice have torn up one or mold's gotten in."

Zel took a bundle and tied it on top. "Fine. Rodent problems?"

Grenshaft tilted his head to the side. "This way. Oh yes, you see, one year a tree limb fell on the roof in a windstorm. I didn't get up there until three weeks had passed and a family of opossums was using the branch like their own personal stairway into their new abode."

"Must have been disappointing to find that," Zel commiserated.

"Oh yeah. My hunting vacation turned into another working weekend. I cleared all the trees away after that."

They hiked with minimal conversation after that, and a couple hours later, they stepped into a clearing wherein stood a fine log cabin. "Nice," Zel with admiration in his voice.

Inside, there was a huge fireplace with a pair of massively built wooden chairs arranged invitingly close by. Off to the left was a built-in enclosure filled with a large bed piled high with blankets and pillows. To the right were a couple tables; one pushed against the wall had an empty basin, for water, Zel supposed, setting on top, the other was surrounded by a couple chairs. The other walls were mostly covered with shelves containing cooking utensils, and locked metal storage boxes. Grenshaft unloaded the contents of his bag onto these shelves: jars of pickles and spices, cans of coffee and tea, flour and sugar, and, surprisingly, books.

"You can't leave anything up here that's edible. It attracts bugs and _varmints_," saying the last word with a lilt similar to the local vernacular to make Zel chuckle. "Stow your stuff on a shelf, blankets on the bed. I like a cup of tea first, and then we can see about the hunting."

Zelgadiss took that as his cue to get a fire started-- his specialty. With the addition of a slice of bread and cheese, they had a light meal before heading out. Grenshaft shouldered a bow and arrow but Zelgadiss left with only a coarse-woven kill-bag to carry. The air was clear and sweet-smelling, damp from the rising mist, and filled with forest sounds.

Grenshaft was an excellent shot with a common bow and arrow. Zelgadiss wasn't bad, but he mostly relied on his magical 'Flare arrow' or 'Freeze arrow' incantations to bring down his prey when traveling alone. They had to be carefully controlled or he might completely obliterate the poor animal.

"I think its overkill to turn that pheasant into an icicle, but good for storage," Grenshaft pointed out once.

He was more impressed when Zel took down a six-pointer an hour later. "Venison steaks and sausages this winter!"

"Sausages? I know a good recipe to make those, if we can get the intestines clean enough."

"Oh, I'll take care of that. I'm meticulous about cleanliness. I think we can go back to the cabin now and roast some birds for dinner. You ready?"

"Sure," Zel smiled. This was so easy, so natural. He brought down his fair share of animals, satisfied that he hadn't gone overboard or out-shined his host. Grenshaft was proving to be a friend to hunt with, cook with, talk with– to share his life with. Yes, he felt a real bonding with his employer.

"What?"

"What...what?" Zel asked.

"You had a far-off look in your eyes just then. You all right, Zelgadiss?" Grenshaft asked earnestly.

"I did? Oh, I don't know. Just...happy...I guess." And admitting that embarrassed him.

Grenshaft wrapped him in an enveloping hug. "It's about time. I was worried about you."

Sucking in his breath was all Zel could do. His mind went blank. To be held in the arms of another person felt so wonderful. Yes, that was the word: full of wonder. He moved his arms tentatively and returned the pressure around the other man's waist, leaning his forehead carefully against his shoulder. Had he been more alert, he might have noticed that it was a shoulder and not a chest that he was leaning into. For a man as tall and big as the sword maker was, Zel couldn't have reached as high as a shoulder, could he? But, Zelgadiss was as ease. He was not looking for trouble lurking around the corner. Why should he?

They stood there like that a moment longer, then parted, each to his own duties. The meat for dinner was prepared, while the other was hung in storage for cleaning the next day. They ate at one of the tables, washed up, and then settled into the strong wooden chairs in front of the fireplace. Over mugs of strong, boiled coffee, Grenshaft pulled out a book of poems and started reading aloud. Zel didn't recognize the verses, but he could tell that they were old and told of times and people of the past.

The sonorous voice of the reader, the creaking of the cabin walls as they adjusted to the drop in temperature as the night grew colder, all worked to lull the chimera, the part demon/part man/all magical person into a light sleep.

"Zelgadiss..."

"Zelgadisssss." The voice was a known one, but not from his recent memory. Someone from the past– not a friend, but not an enemy, exactly.

"Zel? Why don't you get undressed and come to bed?"

Zel's eyes opened and for a moment he was confused by his unfamiliar surroundings. He heard a rustling to his side and caught sight of Grenshaft stepping out of his pants and underwear, his shirt already discarded on a small stool at the foot of the bed. The sight caused his breath to catch again and his eyes remained riveted to the figure moving in the candlelight. The man moved with grace. _What had made him think of him as bulky?_

"Oh, yes. I am tired," Zel said when he found his voice at last. Grenshaft sat on the bed and began to take off his socks.

Shoes had been left at the door on entering, as were their swords and cloaks. Zel straightened in his chair, then removed his socks and stood up as the other man cleared his throat.

"If you're worried about the bed holding the two of us, you can forget that problem. The one at the inn holds your weight and this is ten-fold stronger."

For once, Zelgadiss hadn't even considered _that_ potential problem. A hint of smile toyed at the edge of his mouth and he shook his head. It had been a very long time since he had shared a bed with another person, so long that he couldn't even remember who or when. Zel stepped closer to the bed.

"The bed's cleaner than your clothes," Grenshaft hinted.

Zel gave him an exasperated look, as if to say "I shouldn't have to explain this," then said aloud, "My surface is abrasive to human flesh, should I accidentally rub up against you, it could leave a nasty scrape."

"Oh, I'll chance that. My skin is tough and I have fur to protect me!" he chuckled and pulled at his copious chest hair.

Zelgadiss felt the blood rush to his face and he turned away. Just imagining the man nestling around him was unsettling.

"Come on now, while you're still warm and can give off some of that heat."

Naturally, the man wished to use him like stones warmed by the fire and stuffed deep in the blankets to warm the feet. The thought irritated and hurt him, a reaction which angered him further. Without waiting any longer, Zel tore off his tunic and pants, leaving them where they dropped, and then climbed into the bed.

"We wouldn't want _that_," Zel grumbled. He turned to his side, back to the other man, and pulled the covers over his shoulders. At least the bed seemed sturdy.

He was thrown off guard by Grenshaft's low rumbling laughter. "Aw, come on. I was just kidding you."

Grenshaft slid an arm under Zel's pillow and another over his hips, and then somehow (_How could he be that strong?_) he pulled Zelgadiss close. He shaped his body to fit the other man's curves and rubbed his chest to Zel's back. "Comfortable?"

"Yes," Zel whispered back, forcing a moan threatening to give away his thoughts to silence.

"Happy dreams, then," Grenshaft said in a sigh.

Zelgadiss thought he'd never fall asleep. He listened as the other man's breathing slowed and deepened on entering sleep. He heard the wind, a creak, the skittering of some varmit over the roof, and then he must have slept, because he began to dream.

This dream was the most real yet. Zel heard a voice tell him, "Tell me how it feels, tell me slowly..."

And then he felt moist heat tighten around his pride. And although he hadn't experienced that exquisite sensation for a lifetime of lifetimes, he knew in a basic, primordial way exactly what it was. _This is a dream. This is only a dream_, he told himself. Not that it mattered. To experience such bliss..._Oh!_

At the height of his ecstasy he couldn't do it, but as it passed he could and so he forced open his eyes to find... nothing. Well, not exactly _no_ thing. There had been _some _thing.

At some point in the night, Grenshaft had rolled to his other side facing away, a large dark mound under the blankets which moved with each breath. It hadn't been him doing the caressing, but it hadn't all been a dream either. For an instant Zelgadiss had seen something, a dark shape over him, he was certain. For a fraction of an instant, something was there, and then it was gone. Or was that just a part of the dream, his waking to see the form?

Zelgadiss got out of bed and stepped silently to the 'kitchen' to pour himself a cup of water from a pitcher. In passing, he fired up the dying embers with a spell to stave off the chill. The dream had been too damn real to be a dream. Physically, his body had experienced a memorable experience, there was no questioning that. He was still feeling the pleasurable afterglow.

"You okay?" Grenshaft's voice sounded muffled by pillows.

"Yes. I, ah, needed some water."

Zelgadiss climbed back into bed and lay on his back, staring up at the roof, watching the play of light from the flickering flames on the wood beams.

"Bad dreams?"

"Yes...no. Not bad. Not bad, at all."

Grenshaft rolled toward him. "So, you had a good dream? A _very_ good one?"

The two men's eyes met in the dim light cast by the fire light.

"The _best_?" he asked further.

Zelgadiss nodded and closed his eyes, thankful that the darkness covered his blush.

Grenshaft seemed eager to explore the issue. "Was it with a...woman?"

Zel shrugged. "Couldn't tell."

"Couldn't, or _wouldn't_?"

Zel turned his head and opened his eyes. "I wouldn't _know_."

"I...I'm sorry..."

"What do you _think_ with a body like mine?" he nearly snarled.

Grenshaft was quiet. His breathing slow. He was not upset by Zelgadiss' irritation or revelation.

Zel blew air out his pursed lips, then said, "Hey, sorry. Sensitive topic."

"I guess it would be for me, too."

"Yeah, sure. I haven't noticed the ladies hanging on your arm." Zelgadiss regretted the dig at his friend immediately. "Shit, I didn't mean that. I don't know a thing about how you spend your free time."

Grenshaft silenced him with an unexpected shove to his shoulder, pressing him firmly to the mattress. Zel's view filled with the other man's face, and then a blink later, Grenshaft's lips pressed against his, with surprising gentleness for such a big man.

He pulled back and said, "I'm a bit of an outsider myself, not spending my time, by choice, with the 'ladies' as you put it. In a small town, that makes me a little _shady_."

"_Fishy_... and mistrustful..."

"_Queer_, to be precise."

"Ah..." Zel got the gist. Grenshaft preferred men to women, and he could become his boyfriend, if he agreed.

"Do you mind?"

Did Zel mind? Did he care in the least? "Kiss me again and let me decide," he answered with a glint in his eye.

Grenshaft smiled. He gazed deeply into Zel's eyes hoping to read the young traveler from distant lands. The warm expression of acceptance which met his eyes made his heart swell, and for a heartbeat he nearly told Zelgadiss everything he'd always wanted to say.

Kiss first, talk later, he decided.

**End Grenshaft, part two**


	3. New Lodgings

**Grenshaft**

**Zelgadiss meets an intriguing male companion, but will it prove to be his life-mate, or another disappointment? Warning: male x male sexual encounters, please do not read if you find them distasteful.**

– **Part Three – **

**New Lodgings **

* * *

Before leaving the cabin the next day, the two men needed to talk. They had spent the previous night experimenting _very_ tentatively. Hands never moved below the waist, but every so often a warm male organ rubbed tantalizingly against a leg or a hand brushed suggestively across a soft rise of flesh. He knew that under the cover of darkness he was safe from the worst shame his horrid body could reveal. Zelgadiss felt awkward kissing and touching another man, and was embarrassed easily at first, but he was a man and his natural urges drove him further than he could rationalize. By the time they fell asleep, he knew his life had changed, and that he could not go back to the old life he'd had. _But what was his future to be?_

"I'm not looking forward to returning the house, actually. It will seem overly large and empty after this," Grenshaft began. "It was meant to house a family."

Zelgadiss sipped at his morning coffee and nodded. He was having a difficult time meeting the other man's eyes. Being intimate in the dark was one thing; meeting in the light of day afterwards was another. _And now, was the man inviting him to move in with him?_

"You're being quiet. What are you thinking?"

Zelgadiss' eye flickered from Grenshaft's to the door to his mug. "You're not one to beat-round-the-bush. What do you mean about the house?"

Grenshaft's hand moved to cover Zel's. "Come live with me. If you want, you can have your own room. With you doing the cooking, maybe I can drop a few pounds and look svelte like you," he added with a wink.

It helped. Zel broke into a wry smile. "Are you saying my cooking is bad?"

"Bad? Burned toast and rubbery eggs, bad? 'Terrible' is more like it!"

Zel chuckled along with the other man. "Okay, you talked me into it, but it will break Alice's heart."

"Alice!" Grenshaft had forgotten the inn keeper's daughter, and suddenly he was worried that he had a rival after all.

Zel broke into a wider smile, pleased to have caught off guard the usually self-assured Grenshaft. He held a hand three or so feet from the floor, demonstrating her approximate height. "Yes, Alice."

Grenshaft frowned, then relaxed. "_That_ Alice, you teaser..."

"I didn't mean to, really. Sorry. I'm not used to having someone actually care for me."

"Then I have my work cut out for me. Convincing you of my interest and your importance to me will move to the top of my 'to do' list." He said this with such conviction that Zelgadiss blushed. Grenshaft leaned in, and whispered, "Have you ever been in love, Zelgadiss?"

But Zel couldn't answer. Some memories he didn't want brought to the surface. He shrugged, and looked away. Grenshaft wouldn't let him avoid him entirely. He cupped the pebble-encrusted chin in one hand, turning it slightly back to face him.

"That's okay, another time when you're ready to tell me about yourself." Grenshaft lightly kissed his cheek, then backed away. "I'll fold up the bedding if you start packing up the kitchen, then we need to butcher the game and prepare it for travel."

All the way back to town the two men discussed the move. They decided to first visit Grenshaft's home to store the meat and then give Zelgadiss the full tour of the interior. What Zel chose to do after that was left up to him. They circuited the house, choosing a room for Zelgadiss to call his own.

"I hope you want to spend your nights in my bed," Grenshaft told him, "but when you want your own space, you'll have it."

Zelgadiss cleared his throat, pretending to miss the sexual references, and agreed. "I've lived alone for so long, I may not be as wonderful a roommate as you think." He didn't want to sound to disparaging, however, adding lightly, "This room has a nice view. Yes, having this one to call my own is a good idea."

"Excellent. I have an abundance of good ideas, and they all involve you."

Again, Zelgadiss felt a sudden heat rise to his cheeks, burning the tips of his pointed ears. He was unused to the admiring tone, the obvious flirting of the other man. He knew how he felt but not how to express it himself, which meant he appeared cold and unfeeling. "Right." He turned away, hiding his embarrassment. "I'll go to the inn now, and see you tomorrow morning."

Grenshaft masked his disappointment with a smile. He had counted on his own enthusiasm to carry over to the other man, encouraging him to move in immediately. Tomorrow would give him time to change his mind. He also supposed that pushing Zelgadiss to conform with his wishes wouldn't be productive. "I'll look forward to it. Let's meet here and you can help me with a little furniture rearranging."

"What about work?"

"It can wait," Grenshaft said, his voice lowering with a lust-filled edge, "but _I_ can't." He trapped Zelgadiss in his strong arms and sought out his lips with his own.

The kiss was brief, but well received, and returned as gently as possible. Zel was aware that he could damage the man even if Grenshaft thought he was indestructible. "Bye," Zelgadiss muttered, dragging himself away from the warmth.

The innkeeper and family were all saddened to hear Zelgadiss was moving out, but pleased that he had found a fine room to lodge-over for the winter– it meant he was staying in town. Zelgadiss had made a name for himself as a healer and a man of his word. He was the kind of person the village valued.

"I'll still see you and I promise to come to your birthday party," Zelgadiss told Alice. "And I'll bring a present."

"You'll bring a present?" she cried gleefully. "Did you hear that, Mommy?"

"I certainly did. What an odd tradition! Giving presents to the birthday girl? We give presents to the mother."

Zelgadiss thought that made sense. "I'll buy you one too, then," he said with a comical roll of his eyes, making them all laugh.

Although he had told Grenshaft he wouldn't arrive until the next day, and even though he had intended to remain one more night in solitary independence at the inn, Zelgadiss' anticipation of another night with Grenshaft was more enticing. He liked to be the one to spring the pleasant surprise for a change, too.

He tossed his bag of belongings over his back, waved goodbye, and set off to his new home, and life. He wondered if he told the innkeeper's family the entire truth, of the circumstances of his new situation, and his new relationship with another man, whether they would have been as fond of him? Would they even want to continue their friendship?

Friends. He had made many new friends in town, and it had been awhile since he had done that. They didn't last long, whereas his composition had made him immortal, so far. He felt his heart constrict as he remembered past friends: Lina, Gourry, Sylphiel, and Amelia. Zelgadiss grew pensive, as he always did when he thought about his dead friends. An unwanted voice in his head reminded him, "Humans, even the magic users, eventually die; Grenshaft will die, too." It took courage for him to walk back to Grenshaft and into a relationship.

So far, Zelgadiss hadn't shown any signs of aging. The only other person he knew who hadn't aged last time he had seen him was the demon Xelloss. He shoved back thoughts of Xelloss, thoughts that threatened to overtake his mind and torment him. No matter how hard he had tried to erase the memory of Xelloss, it would not leave him. The best he could do was to avoid dwelling on the pain. It was difficult, though, because Xelloss had re-entered his life at a crucial time, and then nearly destroyed it.

After his dear friends had aged and died, Xelloss remained inexplicably, and the two men had traveled together for awhile. When investigating a strange phenomena in the Katarth Mountain range, their relationship seemed to change. Although it proved to be an unremarkable, mad sorcerer attempting to use dragon magic and reeking havoc, Zel and Xelloss grew close, beyond friendly, during the encounter– or at least Zelgadiss thought they had. Thinking back, Zelgadiss conceded his own insanity brought on by terrible isolation from friends had brought on his infatuation. What else would drive a young man like Zelgadiss into the arms of a creature like Xelloss?

He had lost his footing and slipped, rolling in a rock fall, when Xelloss grasped him in his arms and flew them both to safety. Zelgadiss had sucked in a deep breath of dust, and he shuddered in the throes of a coughing fit. Xelloss held him upright, supporting his weight until it seemed Zel could stand alone. "Are you all right? Would you like to sit?"

Zelgadiss shook his head and turned his head. He was caught staring up at Xelloss, blushing like a schoolboy. He was attracted to Xelloss like no other in all his life. He was inexperienced but passionate, and maybe it was the weak demon in his own makeup that drew him to the powerful one and into the madness that followed. The demon's arms were strong, the hold intimate. He was sure Xelloss meant it to mean what he thought, so that in a quick movement he yanked the other man's head down, fingers wound in the thick black hair, and kissed him hard. He wasn't kissed back.

"Ah, thanks for saving me back there," Zel murmured with sudden embarrassment, pulling away. He felt foolish, but not regretful. He had just needed an excuse to demonstrate how he felt. He wasn't afraid of retaliation either; Xelloss could torture or kill him at any time, regardless.

Xelloss acknowledged him with raised eyebrows, stumbling backwards. On reflection, Zelgadiss should have known that Xelloss could sense his emotional upheavals. The waves of lust and affection emanating from him nearly floored the demon. An honorable man would have told Zelgadiss immediately that he was interested, or not, but Xelloss wasn't a human guided by honest, ethical and moral principles. Xelloss knew he could use the information to his own benefit, choosing to toy with the vulnerable human man instead.

For weeks, Xelloss allowed Zelgadiss' advances, returning little in exchange. He tormented him with tantalizing smiles and suggestive conversation, then turned on him, dousing his excitement with a frosty glare and occasionally warning him off. "I'm not what you need, Zelgadiss."

"Yes... you are!" Zelgadiss would assure him, sometimes begging for affection. Did he enjoy the pain just a little? He didn't deserve a better mate, not a mixed breed creature like him. If he was demeaned sufficiently, then Xelloss might give in and assault him further, or he might not.

Xelloss argued further. "Don't be ridiculous! You need a human partner."

"How would you know?" Zelgadiss shot back, hurt that the demon was so cold.

Zelgadiss' rush of frustration acted like a balm to the demon, soothing the jabs of affection aimed constantly at Xelloss' nonexistent heart. He was hardly aware that his unhappiness fed Xelloss appetites where his sexual moves did not. Xelloss knew that he could manipulate the infatuated youth– Zel was hardly more than a teenager– and, so, he did.

The affaire offered no fulfillment, disappointing Zelgadiss with each added indignity. The demon's treatment grew more demeaning in order to boost the pain– his reward. Everyday, Zelgadiss yearned for more emotional content, more touches, more anything from the demon, and every so often, Xelloss would condescend to stroke his ego or mollify his desires with a passionless episode of rough sex. Zelgadiss was left feeling cheap and degraded. And why was it that Zelgadiss put up with it? Because, without Xelloss he was so crushingly lonely.

Adamant to make something of their relationship, Zelgadiss stuck it out, until at one point, Zelgadiss was certain that Xelloss had undergone a change of heart. The demon returned his kisses with what could only be described as tenderness and agreed to sharing a bed in an inn, after a nice dinner and a bath. He was warm and amenable to Zelgadiss desires.

Up to a point. Suddenly, it was as if a faucet had been wrenched shut, turning off the flow of charm.

"Hey, that felt good. Why did you stop?" Zelgadiss continued to beg for attention, but only received Xelloss' frosty disdain in return. His hot blood froze with the awful realization that he'd just been used again.

Xelloss curled his lip in a supercilious smile; his body stiffened. "A demon of _my_ rank desiring a human? I never thought you were a ridiculous man before!" Xelloss laughed scornfully. "Or a pathetic one. I can never want you–_ will_ never want you."

Something in Xelloss' words stung– a nasty awakening, bringing Zelgadiss to his senses at last. Zel swallowed his temper and dressed hastily, then wordless, mind seething, left Xelloss laughing at him on the bed. He had been far better off playing the role of the cold-hearted swordsman. He would never again waste any more words on that creature, Zelgadiss vowed, or on finding love ever again.

He hadn't seen him since, but Zelgadiss punished himself for years afterwards for having forgotten that Xelloss was a monster who wished to inflict pain, dismay, and terror upon people for no gain to himself beyond the pleasure it afforded him. It was a terrible memory, hurtling his mind back to the present and casting his mood into one of profound depression.

"Stop it," Zel muttered to himself. "Forget the past. Let the dead lie."

Why was he dwelling on that damned demon? Grenshaft and Xelloss were about as disparate as possible. Grenshaft was no magic user and Xelloss _was_ magic. Grenshaft was kind, thoughtful, and human, whereas Xelloss couldn't claim any one of those qualities. Most importantly, Grenshaft wanted his company– he wanted him. Zel knew that he shouldn't be alone that night with his dark memories. And he didn't have to, not with Grenshaft waiting at home for him. Time had mended his deepest wounds; perhaps Grenshaft was the person to heal him completely? Home. What a lovely thought that was!

Grenshaft rarely had company, especially in the evening, so that when he heard the sharp rap at the door he was suspicious. "Hello?" he said, opening the door. When he saw Zelgadiss on his doorstep, though, his face lit up. "You're b-back!" he faltered. "Why, this is wonderful, wonderful!"

For an instant, Zelgadiss thought he saw the barest shimmer of a different man standing there. Just for an instant, and then the taller, dark, curly-haired man came into focus. Obviously it was a deceit of his mind. He'd been thinking about the past and the light was dim. He knew what stress could do, how it could play tricks on the mind.

"Can I come in?" Zel asked with a wry smile, his previous bad feelings evaporating in the warmth of the other man's obvious pleasure of having him there.

"Oh, yes, of course! Come in." Grenshaft stepped aside. "I'm glad you changed your mind about tonight."

"I just wanted... I guess I didn't want to be quite so far apart. Still, I think I'll stay in my own room tonight, if you don't mind." Zel wished to be alone, but near. He was afraid of what he would see in Grenshaft's face, and more so of what the man might see in his.

"Oh? Well, I'm glad you're here. If you need privacy then how can I deny you? Even in the deepest love some secrets must be left, some things not for others to know. It was a part of respect, the room to be oneself."

Zelgadiss let out is breath, relieved. "Exactly." He was not yet ready to be so close, perhaps he would never, but in was uncanny how well this man could read him.

(o)

**A Balance of Trust and Desire**

The next day the two men moved furniture and arranged the rooms to suit them. Zelgadiss may not have felt it was his home yet, but he was comfortable. Still, he was careful not to intrude and found himself wanting to tip-toe around lest he disturb the other man when he was reading.

He passed Grenshaft's room, wondering if he should knock first, but seeing the door ajar, he stepped inside. At first, Zel didn't see him then he noticed a blur of movement in a standing mirror, positioned so as to allow Grenshaft to see himself from the bathroom. Zelgadiss found that he could watch the man's reflection as he undressed, preparing to bathe. He was like an adolescent: excited, mesmerized, hoping for a glimpse of the man's privates Zel had only felt in the dark. When Grenshaft began fondling himself, moaning slightly, Zelgadiss let out a groan of his own. Grenshaft looked around at the sound, and for an instant Zelgadiss thought the man caught him looking. Grenshaft had smiled, but Zelgadiss was terribly ashamed of his weakness and fled back to his room.

Zelgadiss was angry for the sense of embarrassment, turning away after accidently intruding on Grenshaft in a private moment. He said nothing, pretending it didn't happen. It made civilized living possible. There are things one does not see, do not hear, words one does not voice, and if they slip out in a moment of heat, they are never repeated. Secrets are necessary.

Less so for Grenshaft, however. He grabbed a robe off his bed and chased after his flighty lover. "Zelgadiss. I was about to invite you to bathe with me tonight. I think it would be a great idea. I'd love to have you join me, and I'd love to see the body I've already loved with my lips."

"My body...is disgusting..."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Zel's eyes snapped up to meet Grenshaft's. That word, _ridiculous_, the way he'd said it raised his shackles– it was so like that damned demon. He opened his mouth to curse the man, but when his eyes lit upon the strong figure moving in on him, the burly, hunk of a man with the dark curly hair, so unlike Xelloss, he realized his mistake, that it was just a reactionary response. The robe was open, revealing the man's impressive length growing from a nest of black hair. He sucked in his breath and closed his eyes.

Grenshaft was continuing to explain. "I've seen you shirtless. I know what your skin is like and I find it compelling."

"But my–" Zelgadiss couldn't say the troubling words.

"Shhh... You're a healer. I'll trust you to fix me. Now, let me help you undress. Let me look at what I most admire. Let me decide what I like. Remember, I have felt your body and can tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed of." Grenshaft unbuckled Zel's belt and tugged at his pants.

Zelgadiss let him. He couldn't fight it forever. He might as well get his over with sooner rather than draw out the agony any longer. He stepped out of his pants while Grenshaft waited, then the man clasped him to his hard, muscular chest, saying nothing, but groaning with desire. Thick, strong hands slipped beneath his long tunic, rubbing over his rocky skin, moving down his back. Zelgadiss could feel the man's excitement along his thigh. Grenshaft moved so that it rubbed alongside Zel's own.

In one large hand, Grenshaft grasped both shafts and squeezed, then ran his hand over them. "I love the rocky tip," Grenshaft said, adding with a chuckle, "it limits your activity with the ladies."

Zelgadiss grunted, "No shit," concern over his inadequacy evaporating. He was becoming jelly in the hands of the man, until Grenshaft slipped his other hand over his rear, sliding his fingers deeper. Zelgadiss tightened and squirmed away as a fingertip sought out the opening, pushing in gently. "N-no."

He hoped profoundly that Grenshaft was wise enough and generous enough to be gentle with him, to wait with patience for him to be gentle in return, to wait with patience for him to work his way through the confusion of feeling, that he would not just at that moment seek anything from him for himself beyond trust and the knowledge that he was willing to share all he was able to.

"Okay. We'll test that out later. Tonight, I want you in my mouth." Grenshaft dropped to his knees.

Zelgadiss rested his weight on the man's shoulders and leaned forward, craving the sensation and wanting more. Grenshaft was wary, firming his grip on Zel's hips, steadying him. He nuzzled into Zel's hairless groin, and then swallowed. Zel had never imagined such an act would be so simulating, and that someone would wish to perform it upon him. At the moment, he wasn't imagining anything, until his moment was exhausted.

Gently, Grenshaft lowered Zel to the floor of his room, on a soft, wool rug, pulling off Zel's tunic at the same time. "I want to take you so bad right now, but I won't."

He found Zel's hand, curling the fingers around his own manhood and hinting what would do instead. Zelgadiss met the other man's eye. He saw in his face that soft, intensely personal gaze, unwavering and peculiarly naked. This was not a game to be stepped into and out of as it suited him. "Go ahead."

Grenshaft needed no further encouragement. He proceeded to demonstrate extreme gentleness and care in preparing his lover for penetration. Every act was wrapped in a caress, every move was measured, slow, and tender. He made Zelgadiss cry out with pleasure before succumbing to his own ecstasy. He finished off the evening by bathing him in rose-scented water and drying him with warm towels.

Later that night, Zelgadiss moved stiffly, but he carried in a tray of tea and toast for the two of them. "I hadn't a mind for food, but the tea is nice," Grenshaft said, taking as edge of the tray and centering in on the bed, his bed. "Just don't get crumbs in my bed."

Zelgadiss rolled his eyes. "Of course not."

(o)

In the succeeding days, the two men learned to enjoy one another's company in numerous intimate ways. They also learned about a few hidden talents. One morning, Zelgadiss awoke to an empty bed and the sound of music emanating from a room below. He dressed hurriedly and dashed downstairs to find Grenshaft seated at a piano. He stood amazed that the hands that could pound iron into blades, could move with such delicacy and emote so much feeling from him.

"That's lovely," he said when the song was over.

"Thank you," Grenshaft said, meeting Zelgadiss' eyes with unusual frankness. He seemed to search beneath the easy surface to know if Zelgadiss meant what he said, if he had any understand of music and its meaning, its textures and values, or if he were simply being polite. He was apparently satisfied. A slow smile curved his lips. "I love to play."

Zelgadiss sought for something further to say; the situation seemed to invite it. "Me too, at least I used to play the guitar. I lost mine years ago."

"Really?" Grenshaft's face lit up. He had had no idea that those stone-covered fingers could play an instrument. "We must get you one as soon as one shows up at the market. A big day is coming up the first of spring. If we turn out plenty of high quality swords in time for that, we'll have the timing right for when the Brennmount Guard comes through."

"Brennmount? Will they buy our swords you think?"

"Yes, lots, but we will have to be wary of them as well. They are coming for all their re-supplying needs," Grenshaft replied, frowning.

Zelgadiss wasn't watching his face, though, he was thinking about getting Alice and her mother birthday gifts. He would need to do that the first market day if he wasn't to be late. He and Grenshaft would have to take turns at the booth, then. It would be a pleasant event to look forward to, but first the two men had a great deal of work ahead of them.

**End Grenshaft, part three**


	4. Brennmount Guard

**Grenshaft**

**Zelgadiss meets an intriguing male companion, but will it prove to be his life-mate, or another disappointment? Warning: male x male bonding**

– **Part Four – **

**Brennmount Guard**

* * *

Zelgadiss and Grenshaft returned to the smithy with more gusto than ever. Sword-making together continued well; Grenshaft was a skilled craftsman and Zelgadiss a talented shaman. Cooperating so well together paid off for the two men in stacks of first-class products to bring to market.

"This one's a bit heavy for me," Zelgadiss commented as he gracefully danced across the stone floor, thrusting the newly made creation at an invisible opponent. "The tip's overbalanced."

"You mean it's too long for your tastes." Grenshaft said, watching his lover go through the motions no mere human could duplicate. His eyes crinkled up with amusement. "You don't seem to have any problem handling the weight; you're plenty strong, just a foot short. After all, it was designed for a taller man."

"I wonder if it will take a spell as good as mine?" Zel asked. "Watch this!"

He dashed outdoors around the back, into the cold, dreary, afternoon gloom within a copse of trees, reciting the words to a spell on the way. Zelgadiss held the enchanted sword aloft, the blade glowing, and then started his move to drive the point into a tree while shouting the final words, "Astral Vine!"

The sword lost its glow as the spell fizzled out, leaving the blade lodged halfway into the tree without further explosive action. Zel gave it a forceful tug, but it remained stuck. With a shrug he turned back to Grenshaft, saying, "Guess it doesn't hold a spell, not that it matters since no one but me uses magic in their fighting around here, that I've encountered, so far."

"That's true, but we can't be sure so maybe it's best the swords we make block enchantments on purpose," Grenshaft said. He recovered his sword with a single, sharp jerk.

Zelgadiss was thinking over what the man was saying, but not so deeply that he missed the ease with which Grenshaft had freed the blade from the tree. "How did you do that? That was stuck in there pretty far."

"Oh? You must have loosened it for me. Must have had just the right angle." Grenshaft threw an arm around Zel's shoulders and pulled him closer, murmuring, "I have another sword I'd like to try in your sheath."

"You have what? Oh–" The blood rose to his face as Zelgadiss understood the sexual application. It took little imagination to place them both in bed, Grenshaft plunging deeply inside him.

Their teamwork had affected changes in both men. Zelgadiss had gained confidence, taking pride in his accomplishments for a change. He was creating useful and beautiful objects, doing something for a living better than fighting. As a result, Zelgadiss' shyness had mostly worn off. He smiled more– and laughed. Every so often he'd remind himself that the good times wouldn't last, but Grenshaft was there to show him that they weren't going anyplace soon. He was not prepared to be the object of so much desire, though, and Grenshaft's candid statements often caught him off guard.

"How about we close up a bit early today and go...warm up back at the house?" Grenshaft rubbed a thumb over the tense muscles in Zel's back with as he waited for his answer. He found a rock and circled it.

"Ah...okay, but I have to finish up what I'm working on. It won't take me an hour, tops."

"Of course, I can wait." Grenshaft led the way back into the smithy, and warmed himself by the fire.

Zelgadiss looked up to catch glimpses of the shirtless man waiting and watching him as he worked. True to expectations, Grenshaft had lost weight, the muscles prominent over his leaner, toned body. Frequent contact with Zel's rough surface had worn off the chest hair, but it was that growing on his head that had affected Grenshaft's appearance the most. He had grown out his hair, the short, dark curls straightening to form long loose waves past his shoulders.

"You've lost a lot of weight."

"I told you I would."

"Yes, but you know, my cooking can't explain the alteration in your hair," Zelgadiss pointed out.

In turn, Grenshaft claimed, "I haven't cut it. Must be the weight of it pulling out the curl."

"You don't seem so tall, either," Zelgadiss noted, while pounding out a steel blade. "When we first met, I thought you were a mountain of a man."

"I'm not getting shorter, just fitter," Grenshaft told him with a grin. "You were just infatuated by my masculinity."

"Still am, but you're shrinking." Zelgadiss said it in a joking manner, punching the other man.

"I certainly am not!" Grenshaft rocked with the punch, breaking into laughter. "You're just not deluding yourself with my healthy physique anymore. Now, stop gawking at me and get back to work! There's a part of me that's growing as we speak."

Further changes were so gradual neither man noticed. They had become virtually inseparable, inarguably happy, and supremely content in each other's company. It was apparent to everyone that had ever known them before that their friendship was especially deep, but they looked no further. No one cared.

(o)

"These swords are magnificent. What we need is a way to get them recognized. We need a great warrior to use one, and spread the word." Zelgadiss was looking forward to the start of spring market. Throughout the winter the wares had diminished completely, the only products sold in the shops where the customers could warm themselves by the potbellied stoves and stay dry when the gales blew through. Those places were dark and uninviting, Zel thought; the out-of-doors suited him better with the bright colors and stimulating smells and sounds.

"That's not a bad idea. A detachment from Brennmount is due in town today. They always visit the open market for supplies and to recruit. There's a chance I might entice the head of the guard to take one. Ordinarily, his opinions carry a lot of weight in these parts. The position turned over, and I don't know who the new man is." Grenshaft resumed his pounding on the glowing-hot rod. "I'll think about it. Right now, I need to get this last repair job done. The owner expects it today."

"The head of the guard... I could sell our swords at the market; build you a new booth, if you don't want to. I'd like to try." Zel tried to catch the other man's expression to gauge his reaction. "What's the matter? You think I'll drive off the highbrow customers?" Zelgadiss frowned.

Grenshaft stopped and set down his tools. He hadn't expected so much enthusiasm from his lover for the project. "No, that doesn't worry me. I hadn't even considered the possibility. It's true that I'd rather not have the king's guardsmen see you, but for a different reason entirely."

"And that is, what?"

"They come to the smaller villages to recruit young men into the regiments. They take them to training camps all over the kingdom, and then post them at defensive stations or send them to battle. A choice few remain in the king's guard."

"You think they'd want me? I'm not even a countryman or human-looking."

"You are a man and skilled. They would want you. I've kept you hidden so far." Grenshaft's eyes softened. "I don't know if I could go on without you."

But Zel wasn't listening. He was thinking about his earlier statement: they might want him. Zelgadiss was profoundly insecure emotionally, still, after living so many years as a highly skilled shaman. He found he desperately wanted friends and camaraderie again. Once, he had been foolishly infatuated, possibly even in love, but when Xelloss had turned on him it had hurt so deeply that Zelgadiss was left both wary and needy at the same time. He knew he was forming a permanent attachment to Grenshaft and his town, but to be sought out, chosen to be one of a fighting force again was also very tantalizing to him. He pictured himself atop a sturdy horse, dressed in fine colors, a noble wind blowing his stiff hair.

(o)

Months later, the first market of spring had arrived. Zelgadiss was excited to distraction which was driving Grenshaft further into a rare broody state.

"Zel? So, you want to help me pack up the swords?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." Zelgadiss flashed him a smile, and then started collecting weapons, wrapping them in cloth for safe transport. "The booth is loaded. Shall we take a couple stools?"

"Yes and the cover. Weather's iffy, but I don't think a little shower will hurt us."

"I can put up a barrier to keep us dry, too. You know, the cart's not full. You want to ride? I'll use a spell and we can float everything we want; us included."

Grenshaft rolled the last sword in a piece of flannel cloth and grimaced. "No, thank you. That would look silly, wouldn't it? Two men seated in a cart without horses floating into market? No, the walk will do us both good since we'll be standing or sitting most the day."

"Everything's ready then."

Zelgadiss completed his incantation, floating the cart fractionally above the road, then started out down the path, whistling unconcernedly while Grenshaft fell into step at his side, worrying about how to protect him. Would the guard want to take Zelgadiss from him?

The walk to town took no time at all. They located their reserved spot, which was luckily upwind of the fish monger, and set up their booth. The square was already crowded with other carts and merchants working quickly to be ready for the rush of customers.

"What a lovely day!" Zelgadiss said expansively with a sweep of his arm. "I don't think I've ever seen a prettier one."

"If you say so," Grenshaft grumbled unenthusiastically, passing a group of women arguing loudly over a basket of fish. His mood was not as light as Zel's. The more he thought about it, the more concerned he became for Zelgadiss' welfare. He shouldn't have come along this day. The recruiters would buy his wares, but demand Zel's strong arms as well. There must be a way to avoid it. Grenshaft pondered the problem more deeply. The arrival of the guardsmen was eminent, but so far he had seen no sign of them anyplace in the market.

A brewer's dray lumbered by majestically, horses shining in the sun, harness bright, drayman immaculate and immensely proud. An apothecary was setting up her booth with rows of dusty jars and bottles that could have held the crown jewels, to Zel's eyes. Life was indeed wonderful this fine spring morning. He had been looking forward to the market and the weather was perfect. So distracted was he, that Zel nearly ran Grenshaft over with the magical rolling cart containing their booth and wares.

"Zelgadiss, watch what you're doing! Keep your mind on business!"

"Sorry," Zel said, contrite. He bucked up and started concentrating on his job, helping unload and assemble the booth on site.

Grenshaft cooled down as the swords were placed for viewing and as some of Zel's enthusiasm diminished. "Let me do the talking here at first. People know me."

"People know me, too!" Zel said tartly, taking a stool and setting a bit behind the other man.

"I know," Grenshaft replied, but his voice wasn't the least bit apologetic.

Zelgadiss forgave the man, knowing that he was nervous about how their products would sell, and because he knew Grenshaft was overly concerned about the guard recruiting him away. He didn't like being treated like a child. He had liked that Grenshaft had always before made him feel like a man, a man who slept with another man, but a man, just the same.

"Since you don't need me right now," Zelgadiss said, standing, "I will take a look around. I have birthday gifts to buy for Alice and her mother." He interrupted Grenshaft's warning. "Yes, yes... and I'll be careful. I won't be long."

"You'd better not be!" Grenshaft shouted, temper flaring.

Zelgadiss was not troubled by his lover's show of anger, though, saying languidly, "Well, now I know you are just human."

Grenshaft's jaw dropped, struck speechless momentarily.

"I hadn't seen you get mad before, but now that I have, you've proven yourself to be mere mortal after all."

Zelgadiss gave him a little half smile and a wink, before he dashed away. He ducked around a coster in a striped apron who called out his wares with no audible pause to draw breath, and was out of site, leaving Grenshaft to master himself and worry alone.

Nearly an hour had passed and Zelgadiss had still not returned. Grenshaft heard the sound of horns signaling the grand entry of the Brennmount Guard to the town. They would be in the square in no time. His eyes began to quarter the crowded marketplace. "Zelgadiss, where are you?"

Zelgadiss appeared at his elbow. "I heard the alarm and knew you'd want me back immediately, although they are all holed up in the beer garden, I think, most of them. So, have you sold anything?"

Grenshaft relaxed, his shoulders sagging as he reseated himself on a stool. He was feeling foolish for worrying so much. Zelgadiss was a grown man able to take care of himself, not get lost, pick fights, or run away. "Two short swords and a pair of knives. Not bad at all."

"Good. See what I got?" Zel showed him his purchases for approval.

"Very nice. Have you eaten?" Grenshaft asked. Zel hadn't and volunteered to find them both something. "No, that's okay. Listen, I trust you to mind the store for awhile, especially if the military is busy elsewhere. My turn to take a short break and buy us lunch, then, okay? All the vendors are here so I'll surprise you with a local specialty."

Naturally, no sooner had Grenshaft disappeared then a few men from a regiment of the guard sauntered up to the booth, perhaps waiting to catch Zelgadiss alone on purpose. A fresh-faced young man of rank strode forward and began examining the wares. The others stood at his side, watching the proceedings before offering their own opinions.

"Sergeant Casey," he said, introducing himself. "These look like the work of a man named Grenshaft, but you're not him. I don't believe I've ever met a man like you

before." The officer regarded Zel with open curiosity, as if he were some exotic species of creature imported for his entertainment.

Zelgadiss nodded curtly. He felt self-conscious of his peculiar features: stony skin, wiry hair, and pointed ears. "My name is Zelgadiss, and you are right, Sergeant, these are Grenshaft's. Is there something I can show you?"

"I like this one, but I've never felt anything like this. Excellent balance in a sword."

Zelgadiss allowed the corner of his mouth to turn up. "It's my favorite, based on this original one." He drew his own sword, his old standby, and laid it on the counter side-by-side with the new one.

Sergeant Casey was tempted to pick up Zelgadiss' treasured weapon and test it, but as he studied the decoration at the hilt, he knew it was foreign. "Odd..."

One of the other military men moved closer to look. Only then did he really get a good look at Zelgadiss. To give the man credit, he tried not to stare, but he choked on his own spit as he lost control of his swallowing reflexes.

Zelgadiss offered him a drink from his dangling water skin, which the man took gratefully. Casey pounded him on the back and chastised him for his weakness. The third man had lost all the color in his face, but said nothing.

"As you've noticed, I'm not from around here. That's my sword. It's stood up to dragons, demons, and humans."

"I see." Casey drew a deep breath, steadying himself. He took a moment to size up the strange looking man with bright eyes. "Well, what would you say to a demonstration– your sword against this new one you wish to sell?"

"That all depends on whether or not you're interested in buying it."

"I might be, for myself, and several more for my best men. Others of these will do for the regiment, but if this is the superior blade, I would take it to Lieutenant Kei for his approval. He might consider ordering dozens more like this, and he has the authority to do so."

Zel smiled with as much charm as he could, which was considerable, more than he was aware. "No one can please everyone, so it's important to know whose approval matters in the end. All right."

The onlookers made a little circle for the swordsmen. Zelgadiss waited for a signal from Casey, and then raised his sword. They blocked and parried for a few minutes, but for all his training, it was clear to everyone watching that Zelgadiss was the superior fighter. Casey stopped the game and praised the sword lavishly, agreeing to purchase it. He beckoned his other men to take a look at the other offerings while he and Zelgadiss discussed terms. He found what he came here seeking and that was a young man to recruit to the Brennmount Guard.

"I'll come to the point," Casey said. "I see you have considerable skill as a fighter. I want you to join up. Everyone, or almost everyone, is a follower, trying desperately to climb a little higher. And since no one knows where they are going, it is imperative one follows the right people."

"And you represent the right people, I assume?" Zel asked, arms folded over his chest.

"Certainly. The Brennmount Guard represents the finest military organization in all the combined kingdoms. Ask anyone. It is in your best interest to join voluntarily with me now. My, ah, superior will demand your enlistment and might confiscate your sword for his trouble."

Zelgadiss knew that a flat refusal was not appropriate, and the pleasure of knowing that these men wanted his services and found him to be a strong and skillful fighter was alluring. He might like the change someday, if not now. "I see."

While Casey instructed his men to hold and carry the new weapons, he set out the payment for Zelgadiss to count. Zelgadiss deliberately took his time. He needed to think over what to say. He was too tense to sit, and so he continued to stand and attempt to answer the other men's questions as he stacked the counted gold into a box. Over and over he had prepared in his mind what he would say, but still it was unsatisfactory. One moment it seemed too deferential, not direct enough, the next too shrill, as if he himself were frightened and unsure. He didn't want to cause trouble, especially for Grenshaft, which could spoil his business and destroy his livelihood. Grenshaft needed him.

He wanted Grenshaft's advice and needed him now. Zelgadiss closed his eyes to better focus his attention on his hearing, which was inhumanly acute, sharper than his eyesight, although his vision was also demon-enhanced. He sought out his lover's familiar voice and found it not far to his left.

"Excuse me," Zelgadiss muttered and stepped out from the booth where he could catch Grenshaft's attention.

The instant he caught sight of Zelgadiss, Grenshaft dropped his other conversation and rushed back to the booth and to Zel's side. It was almost as if he could sense Zelgadiss' need. Maybe he did.

"Ah, I see you're busy. Looks like you can use a hand here, Zelgadiss."

"Yes, thanks," Zelgadiss said, and for the moment he stood silent, thinking only how potent his lover was, and manly. "They have made their purchases, but–"

Standing close, Zel could feel the heat of his lover through his cloak, and his face flushed with a rush of feelings. Grenshaft was warm, strong, sure, everything a man like Zelgadiss wanted in another man. He would always want to stay with him, until his death. He had just found a home, discovered his heart's desire. As attractive as returning to the road and making a little mayhem might seem, Zelgadiss knew that his place was by Grenshaft's side. Nowhere else. How could he have even considered giving him up for the glory of the armed guard?

Decision made, and with Grenshaft to back him up, Zel announced, "I'm not interested in joining your company, or any other military band, at this time."

"Well, see about that," Casey said in a huff.

Zelgadiss looked up at his lover silently, the tenderness in his eyes giving him away.

"Dear gods...! You're Grenshaft's man-whore!" shouted the sergeant, red-faced.

"What!" Zelgadiss was too shocked at such a label to come to his own defense. "I'm-I'm–"

Casey turned abruptly to Grenshaft. "Bring him to Lieutenant Kei for dinner at the Ram's Horn in three hours. You will answer all his questions without retreating from duty."

"You're wrong!" Zelgadiss put forward. "I'm his employee, nothing–"

Grenshaft cut him off with a gesture and a warning glance, and then replied to the sergeant. "I can answer all your questions, but I can't promise to make you understand."

Casey took it as the insult it intended to be and reddened. "We'll take our swords now," he said through gritted teeth, then spun on a hell and marched off, his men trailing behind with their wares.

Zelgadiss let out the breath he had been unknowingly holding. He stood watching Grenshaft, a chill wind tugging at the fluttering hems of their capes. The clouds rushing above were gray-bellied; any moment it might rain it and would soon be wet under foot.

"Tell me how you feel, tell me slowly," Grenshaft said, leaning in and kissing Zelgadiss provocatively, and in public.

If he was daring enough to make a public announcement of his feelings, then Zelgadiss would have to be as bold, or deny him. He screwed up his courage, saying, "I love you. I don't ever want to be apart."

Grenshaft put his hands on his hips and grinned. "You said the magic words, my dear. I love you as well, and won't let anyone part us."

The exchange of feelings had passed so quickly, nearly unnoticed. He had told another human being that he loved him, and the man had said he loved him too. "This is all so...great."

"I'm glad to hear you feel the same as I. Ah, just a minute–" Grenshaft picked up the sodden bag he had dropped in his haste to aid Zelgadiss earlier and opened it carefully, peeking inside. "Ah...not too bad. Here." He handed Zelgadiss a partially spilled mug of ale and a hearty-looking beef sandwich. "Before I forget, this is for you."

"Thanks," Zel said.

"Most welcome." He pulled out a sandwich of his own, but the other drink was a loss, the mug broken. "Too bad." With his one free hand he held his sandwich and with the other he crushed the bag, with its damaged, heavy, clay mug, into a ball– a show of monstrous strength for any onlookers– and tossed it into a pile of debris for waste removal. "How is it?" he asked, taking a bite.

"I've never had a better one," Zel admitted. "This is a specialty of the village?"

"Yes, spring lamb, barbequed and seasoned and sliced thin. I don't know what else they do to it."

"Spicy sauce," Zel said.

Grenshaft then said through his chewing, "Now, I've got just the plan to get you out of this. It may be a little tricky."

Zelgadiss was pleased to hear that, but he wished the man hadn't sounded so enthusiastic, that his eyes hadn't taken on that intriguing gleam, that the man didn't relish the idea of engaging them both in some devious scheme. "Oh? What have you in mind?"

1"You'll be going as my servant, my 'man', they call it."

"What?" Zelgadiss dropped his cup, spurting ale all over his tunic.

"You will be going as my man servant," Grenshaft repeated, keeping all emotion from his voice.

For an instant Zel thought he was joking, exercising his rather unreliable sense of humor.

"Don't you think I need one?" Grenshaft smiled. His clothes were grimy from their work, his hair disheveled.

"You need a damn sight more than a valet!" Zel snapped back, reading his eye and realizing that he meant it. "You need a magician!"

"Indeed, sounds like you might fit the bill. You won't do this then?"

Zelgadiss stuck out his lean, stone-encrusted jaw. "Is it an order?"

Grenshaft raised his eyebrows very high. "Good gods, do you think I'd be taking you before them if there wasn't another way?"

"What?" he said in incredulity when he was told. "What did you say?"

"In three hours," he replied, looking very slightly abashed. "It is either that or we are done for, and then they might still take you away and turn you into a whore."

Zel's face scaled hot at the thought of it. "Gods... putting it that way. I'll be your valet."

"I'm not asking you to drop me a curtsy when I walk into a room."

"Of course not, it's just. Why? Don't' valets get recruited?"

"They get special consideration, let's just say."

"You want to tell me what that entails?"

"No, no, I don't think so. Hey, I'm just kidding! You think you'd be better off not knowing and playing your role in ignorance? No, no of course not. Okay, so here's the plan..."

Zelgadiss felt an overwhelming depression coming on. "I am not going to like this. It is all too familiar. But, I trust you, not like...others who have tricked me."

**End, part 4.**


	5. Fight for Freedom

**Grenshaft**

**Zelgadiss meets an intriguing male companion, but will it prove to be his life-mate, or another disappointment? Warning: male x male bonding**

– **Part Five --**

**Fight for Freedom**

* * *

"So, as I have said," Grenshaft told the serious-faced lieutenant of the Brennmount Guard. "Zelgadiss is my valet. I can't possibly do without him. Parting is impossible. I'm afraid that he won't be able to comply with your orders." He smiled and turned to leave the private room at the Ram's Horn.

Lieutenant Kei rose to his feet, smiling as well. He was taller than the other men in the room, and as he moved his bearing held none of the awkwardness many lanky men exhibited. His military uniform was immaculate, his manners, impeccable. He strode up to Zelgadiss, letting his eyes trace the young man's lithe form, accentuated by his close-fitting valet's costume, and reached out to grip his chin with one gloved hand.

Hearing Zel's sharp intake of breath, Grenshaft spun, jaw tightening and ready to fend off any over-familiar hands on his lover. As it turned out, the worry was unnecessary. Kei dropped his hand to his side.

"You are unusual. I can see how your...master... should wish to keep you safe." Kei raised his hands in a gesture of apology before removing his unblemished, white gloves. "Unfortunately, the rule excusing valets from service was abolished."

Zelgadiss waited, swallowing on a dry mouth, body shaking with tension. Very slowly, his hand moved to his sword hilt in readiness, following the officer's movements from behind a shock of bangs. The man seemed to tower over Zel and to fill his line of sight.

The officer's deep-set eyes examined him, exhibiting surprise, then met and held Zelgadiss' eyes. "I, however, have use for a boy, even an exotic-looking one like this one."

This time when Lieutenant Kei reached out, he caught a handful of Zel's wiry hair and rubbed it between his fingers. "Amazing. And are those stones embedded in your skin or are you covered in rock?"

Grenshaft batted the hand away before Zelgadiss lost his composure and drew his sword. "He is my property–_my_ man. You will restrict your conversation and attention to me."

Sergeant Casey, who had been standing by the door, silent, now drew his sword and stepped up. He looked like a younger, darker-haired version of the other officer, less distinguished, and quicker to temper. He clearly had a more difficult time restraining his impulses. "Stand aside!"

Before Grenshaft could prevent him, Zelgadiss had his sword drawn and pointed at the sergeant's throat, growling. He wanted to take on this man again, and this time he wouldn't hold back. Grenshaft shouted "Stop!" in an exasperated voice. In a flash of movement, the sword maker grabbed Zel's shoulder and dragged him backwards, leaning away just in time to avoid the lieutenant's blade, plunging at his side. Zelgadiss broke free and swung around.

"Why did you stop me?" Zel hissed, furious, his heart racing.

"They must begin the hostilities," Grenshaft explained, parrying the next crushing blow. "Then we are merely defending ourselves."

Zelgadiss' eyes narrowed. Grenshaft smiled, a sly smile in reply. "Why? Don't you think you can best these two without the advantage of first attack?"

Suddenly, Zelgadiss stiffened. "Careful!" Zel shouted. "One of them is a magic user!"

He swung around back to back with Grenshaft, who looked astonished at the news, asking, "Really?"

It wasn't Sergeant Casey, who chose to engage Zelgadiss with a flurry of straight forward thrusts. Zel blocked those with ease, but was frustrated at being held back. It was time to bring the fight to a close.

"Damn it, Gren! I'm ending this now," he said between gritted teeth, then began his chant.

"Astral–" Zelgadiss began, his sword glowing with the half-cast spell, when the door swung open, crashing against the wall with a resonant thud.

"Found ye at last!" The innkeeper's wife entered with a flourish of skirts. "What's going on here? Fighting? In this nice establishment? Shame on ye! Ye know the Ram's Horn owners are particular friends of ours and I won't have ye breaking up their furniture or bloodying their nice linens."

All fighting came to an abrupt halt as attention was called to the red-faced woman. To Zelgadiss' surprise, it was to the two officers that she had directed her tirade. The lieutenant appeared quite sheepish as a result.

"We were conducting business, mama. This is none of your concern."

Zelgadiss looked sharply up at first the woman then the two men. I thought there was something familiar about their faces. I can see the resemblance," he muttered under his breath to Grenshaft, who nodded.

"Yes, I hadn't seen them since they were boys, but now I see I should have known them."

"We'll be seein' about that!" she said, sharply to the tall officer, turning her back on him and addressing Zelgadiss. "I wanted to see how yer booth was doing, but it was all closed up when I got there. The fishmonger said the guard was taking yer away. I asked around and found ye."

She looked Zelgadiss up and down, and before he could find what to day, she added, "Fancy rags ye wearin' today, Mister Zelgadiss," and then smiled.

"Yes, er...ma'am. I'm...ah... Grenshaft's valet." He blushed and smiled, pulling at his ruffled collar uncomfortably.

"Valet?" she snorted, disbelieving. "Ye be all sorts of things, but a valet, yer not. Just why are you doing all this, I be asking?"

Grenshaft stepped forward taking her hand and kissing it gallantly. "I'm afraid this is all my doing. It has been far too long, ma'am since we last meet socially."

She stood upright and studied him head to foot until she was satisfied that she knew him. "Grenshaft, I wouldn't have known ye on the street. Ye've been taking better care of yerself. Lookin' mighty fit, ye are, and with yer hair all grown out long. Very pretty. So, have ye gone and got our magic healer in trouble with the guard?"

"There is no trouble, mama." Lieutenant Kei drew himself to his full height. "This man was attempting to evade recruitment by posing as a valet to Mr. Grenshaft, where he is obviously the man's lover."

"He is a skilled journeyman to the master swordsmaker here," she snapped back, jabbing a finger in Kei's face. "And he's is a magic user. He saved yer sister's life. Ye are in debt to him," the woman said with no little satisfaction.

She turned to both Grenshaft and Zelgadiss. "I'd hoped fer more congenial circumstances, but what I've got will do fer introductions. This is my eldest son, Kei, and my younger, Casey, both of whom seem to think too highly of themselves these days."

"That's not true–" the younger, less genteel-appearing officer interrupted.

"It most certainly is! Look at ye both, like some over-stuffed mid-winter's day ganders, all dandied up and speaking with yer all high-and-mighty city-speech. These are hard-working, decent folk that the town needs more than you. Don't do anyone no good gettin' fine men such as these cut up in yer battles."

"You say he's a healer?" Kei smiled faintly at Zelgadiss. "And a magic user? That could be invaluable service to his majesty's forces."

"He's not from these parts, can't ye tell, or are ye blind? He owes the king no allegiance, and all ye'll do is drive him away to some other town who will have his benefits," she argued.

"She's right," Grenshaft said with a smile of gratitude. "There's nothing keeping him here but me, possibly. If he is given no choice but to depart, then I should go as well, leaving the town without my services."

"And don't tell me we can get by without a man to run the smithy!" she said, her voice rising another notch, daring her son to cross her.

The officer hated to give up, but in this matter he had no choice. It didn't do to go against your mother's wishes, even if you were a lieutenant in the Brennmount Guard. He replaced his sword in his scabbard and pulled on his gloves.

"Of course not. Well, it seems, Mr. Zelgadiss, man of stone, that you are not to become one of the king's guards, not today. I expect, however, that you will come to the defense of your town in the event the war comes to you."

"Naturally," Zelgadiss said. "I don't run away from conflict and I'm loyal to my friends."

Grenshaft took him securely by the elbow and led him in the direction of the door. "Well said! Now, you will pardon us if we don't stay for dinner? It was a nice offer, but on reflection we find it too costly for our palates."

He grinned widely at Sergeant Casey's glower, and then said to the woman, "Thank you for your kindness. It was pleasant seeing you again. Good day!"

"That was kind of cheeky of you," Zelgadiss whispered to him on his way out, thinking it was uncharacteristically brash of his friend to tease the young officer. He wanted to discuss the feeling of magical aura he had felt during the short fight, and was about to broach the topic when Grenshaft distracted him with an affectionate, brief embrace, his hands slipping lower and cupping the appealing, satin-covered bottom.

"I suppose, but I just can't stand pompous military types, especially ones drooling over my man."

"Your man...? Oh!" Zelgadiss flushed scarlet over his blue-toned skin, forgetting what his was thinking about. "Let's go get our booth and cart it home. I have to get out of these ridiculous clothes."

"Out of your clothes, yes, that would be nice!" Grenshaft laughed aloud.

Grenshaft and Zelgadiss took the rear exit out of the tavern, sweeping past delivery boys with fresh meat, fish and vegetables who were knocking on the scullery doors. There was a milk cart at the next crossroads, with young girls unloading the heavy cans. They turned and smiled dazzlingly at the two men, but were unnoticed. A thin woman was carrying a full can, leaning a little sideways from its weight. Zelgadiss dashed around her and up to their stall.

"We can come next weekend, right? I'd like to try my hand at selling our swords again."

"Of course. It will be far less exciting, I'm afraid." Grenshaft slowed as they reached their stall in the market and smiled woefully at his friend. "For now, just help arrange the cart for transport home."

"That will be just fine. Yeah, okay."

Immediately, he ordered the unsold wares, stowing them properly in their wrappings and then secured the booth onto the cart. It had been an exciting enough day for Zel, without having to think further about mysterious magic users, not with a promise of more affection from his insatiable lover.

**A New Start**

"You know, we haven't been out of the house for days." Grenshaft sighed as he lazily drew circles around the stones jutting out from his lover's back.

"You're thinking we ought to get back to work?" Zelgadiss asked. He turned and looked his friend in the eye.

"Yes, that too, I suppose, but I was thinking about going out to eat...for...I'm guessing it's about time for lunch?"

Zelgadiss smiled, relieved that that was all, that his lover wasn't getting bored with him already. They had hardly left the bed, practically remained within arm's reach of one another, since they had returned from the Saturday market and the encounter with Kei and his brother. It was as if the near threat of separation had bonded the two men even closer together. They had attempted to unify their bodies as well as their souls. He continued wiping himself clean with a damp cloth.

"Lunch sounds great, actually. I'd forgotten how necessary it must be for you to eat."

Grenshaft's expression was hard to read. Zelgadiss was afraid he might have offended him, and so went on quickly. "Human's need food for nutrition and energy. I'm only part human, you remember? One third of me, to be exact. The other two thirds each derive sustenance from the, ah, emotions around me, the bad ones."

"Is that so?" To Zel's relief, Grenshaft wore a bemused smile and grabbed at the towel for his own needs. "Well, just so I don't starve, you'd better stow that valet's outfit to the back of the wardrobe. Food is the furthest thing from my mind when I see you in those form-fitting knee pants, the laces at the crotch loose..."

Zelgadiss hopped up off the bed, scampering over to where his customary pants and tunic lay in a heap. "Oh, no, not again. You have me thinking about food, and now I am hungry. Get up and get dressed before you can't."

This time the two men made it out the door and into the lane before the need for contact drew their hands close. They grazed knuckles, brushed up against one another, and touched frequently on their way into town. There, they put a little more distance between them when they spotted their friends out on the fishing pier. It was the same rustic lunch bar where Zelgadiss had first been introduced.

After exchanging greetings, a waiter took their orders and the men settled in with mugs of ale. Fishing was improving with the weather, putting Flenet and Tanner in cheerful moods, but Strom's countenance remained dark, even surly. Zelgadiss guessed that one of his many kids was giving him problems at home, and left him to stew undisturbed. It was the towheaded Flenet who asked Grenshaft how his booth at the market had gone.

"Quite well. In fact, the next day a boy delivered orders for more swords– to the Brennmount Guard, so even that run in didn't end up so bad."

When generous baskets of fried fish arrived, the conversation cut short. Zel slathered a hunk of bread with the fresh creamery butter and took a bite. He sighed, contented with the simple food, honest men, and his loyal, caring lover. He was jolted out of his preoccupation by Strom's grating voice.

"So, ye had no reason fer snubbing me daughters," Strom grumbled, staring from Zel to Grenshaft accusingly.

"Pardon me?" Grenshaft said, looking up, but frowning defensively. "What are you talking about, Strom?"

"Work for the dairy now, they do." The man peered defiantly through a tangle of dirty, red hair, his freckles blending in with the hair on his arms, making them appear mottled. His arm muscles bulged and tightened with the clenching of his fists.

Zelgadiss thought over the events of the market day. He could recall the pair of giggling girls unloading milk cans. Could that be the incident that was bothering Strom? He didn't think that they'd been particularly rude, but then, he and Grenshaft had had an eventful day and were probably totally absorbed in one another at the time.

"We passed two girls unloading a milk cart, but they were strangers to us, Strom, or we would have stopped to talk. Also, you have to know, we had just had a close call with the recruiters." Zelgadiss hoped that would put an end to the grumbling.

"Leave it alone, Strom," dark-skinned Tanner warned.

Grenshaft and Zelgadiss exchanged glances. Apparently the men had been discussing them before their arrival. The ale went flat in Zel's mouth. He hated furtive behavior. He wanted everything out in the open.

"What? Out with it!" Zel demanded.

"Don't know no man who'd not notice two pretty girls, no matter what," Strom said. "Not normal, is what I'm sayin'."

"Now, Strom," Flenet said, "Not every man's as hot-blooded as ye."

"He share's Grenshaft's house! Plenty of good _women _around to do that!"

So, this was not about some discourtesy, this was about their sexual preferences, Zel realized. He wasn't sure what to say that wouldn't inflame Strom further, but he wasn't about to deny his feelings for the best thing to happen to him in his life. It shouldn't be anyone's business how he and Grenshaft chose to live. He bristled as his demon defensive mechanisms set in.

Strom's eyes widened, showing fear, as he bared his teeth and readied himself for a fight. Zelgadiss was surprised that the man could have detected his magical aura, but then he was the same man who was so apprehensive about his magical abilities from the beginning.

"Ought to be settling down. Married. Having kids of yer own."

Tanner shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Now, that's just not fair, Strom. I ain't married and I'm older than either of them, probably. Family life like that just ain't fer everybody."

"Maybe not," Strom said, his eyes shifting from Zel to Grenshaft quickly. "But these two ain't normal. They was kissin' in the market. Talk is, they both prefer men to women. Perverts, those kind is called."

"I don't see where that is any of your business, Strom." Grenshaft rose to his feet. "I'd hate to lose a friendship over this, but–" he met Zel's eyes briefly.

Zelgadiss knew that he was asking him permission to be open, and so he nodded, offering his complete support, if needed. He left his chair and stood by him shoulder to shoulder. Why did it seem that his life always a struggle for acceptance?

"But Grenshaft is my lover. I don't plan moving anytime soon, so if you have a problem with us, well... we'd better settle it right now." Zelgadiss folded his arms over his chest and stared the other man down, almost.

Strom jumped up, knocking over his chair. "I got no business with perverts!" He looked over at Tanner and Flenet. "Yer'd be best not to either." He tossed a few coins out on the table, settling his part of the bill, and then left, bumping into another patron and stumbling on his way out.

"Shouldn't drink, that man," Tanner said. "Makes him crazy."

Grenshaft nodded, slowly. "Maybe. You haven't said much, which tells me you all are uncomfortable with us. I can understand, but what I want to know is if you'll come to accept us as we are."

Zelgadiss didn't say anything, but he had the feeling that Grenshaft didn't care what the men really thought of them, that he was ready to walk out without a second glance. He was a strange man that way. With him, Zelgadiss had noticed, Grenshaft was caring and sensitive; in fact, he worked to draw out Zel's innermost thoughts. Around anyone else, however, the man was aloof, masking it with his dry humor. Zelgadiss smiled because he knew now that was the quality which made him feel so deeply cherished.

Flenet couldn't meet either men's eyes. His hands were trembling. He had all the signs of a nervous man. "I-I'm not so sure. I mean, yer my friends, but it's hard not imagining, ye know, ye doing what I do with a woman. It's not natural, but then, it's not like yer actin' all lovey-dovey out here in public like, if ye get my meanin'."

"What I hear is you don't like it, but as long as we do not appear changed you might come to terms with it and remain friends," Zel said.

"Yeah, that's it," Tanner said with relief, grateful for someone else putting his worries into words. "At least at first, so I get used to the idea. It's not so strange already, when ye get down to it, is it? Women, they can be so damned confusing and demandin'."

His touch of humor lightened the mood. All the men chuckled in agreement, and for a moment their closeness was restored. Tanner cleared his throat.

"Don't think Strom's gonna turn about, though. He's got some strong opinions 'bout what men should and shouldn't do. I'd say be careful 'round him. Real careful."

"Yeah, give him some space fer awhile," Flenet agreed.

Zelgadiss felt the men knew more than they let on, that Strom was extremely prejudiced and that he would never accept two homosexual men as his friends. He decided not to press them. What good would it do? Better to leave things as they were and make the best of it. This was Grenshaft's home and livelihood. He must contribute to keeping it intact, even it that meant bending a little.

"I think you're right. Thanks, for being truthful. I think Grenshaft and I can ... contain ourselves in the future. We won't deny our relationship, but we don't have to flaunt it either."

The men parted on friendly terms. Work still had to go on. Life continued. For Grenshaft and Zelgadiss it would be a fresh start living as a couple in this close-knit community.

(o)

"Assure me once again, I have to dress up for this party?"

"It was Alice's expressed wish that we come prepared for a very 'high class tea party,' to quote her. She is the birthday girl"

"Yes, yes, you don't need to remind me, Zelgadiss. I had to take up the slee... that is, the waistline on these slacks. I hope they look all right."

Zelgadiss stared at his lover, curious what he had nearly said and why he seemed uncomfortable. Grenshaft evaded his eyes, pulling on a fitted tunic over his head and making a great deal about adjusting his belts. Zelgadiss shrugged off the odd feeling, deciding that the man was unused to parties and public events.

"Don't worry. I won't make you do this often."

Grenshaft turned toward him and slowly smiled. Zel could see the tension ease from his shoulders. "I'm sorry. I wasn't even aware how much being out in public was bothering me."

"It's being with me, isn't it? How to act around others?"

"Huh," he chuckled. "I guess I should be worried about that, but I wasn't even concerned." Grenshaft sighed. "I'm just more comfortable hunting or working. People..." he trailed off, his thoughts unfinished.

"People are best in small doses."

"Yes! I knew you'd understand."

"You and I are very much alike, Grenshaft," Zelgadiss said, and then looking down at his bare, rock-studded hands, he added, "And yet worlds apart."

"I think we're more alike than you think," Grenshaft said, but didn't elaborate as he leaned over and gently kissed his lips.

Alice's party was a simple family affair with Zelgadiss and Grenshaft invited as her chosen guests of honor. The party was held outside in the inn's patio because of the mild weather. Tiny lights twinkled from the tree branches where her father strung them for extra lighting for the inn's patrons to enjoy in summer. Zelgadiss admired the result; it was just like the people of this village: simple and genuine. He and Grenshaft were circumspect when it came to their behavior, not wishing to draw any attention their way. In spite of their close proximity to one another, they didn't touch or gaze into one another's eye inappropriately. It was Alice's day, after all.

The other guests offered Alice's mother small gifts, the customary birthday wishes in that part of the country. Zelgadiss waited his turn, and then withdrew a small box from the folds of his cloak. Alice's mother was pleased with the skillfully crafted gold chain necklace he had chosen for her, and thanked him profusely, causing him to blush. Finally, he passed the Alice her present.

"Where I come from it is traditional to give the birthday girl a gift, so keeping with that convention, here you are. Go ahead, open it," Zelgadiss urged Alice, pleased with her barely curbed excitement.

"Okay, thank you Mr. Zelgadiss, I will."

As Alice tore away the paper wrapping, a boy ran into the yard of the inn where everyone had gathered. He dashed from table to table, upsetting the host and hostess, until he found Grenshaft.

"Grenshaft! You gotta come! It's the smithy! It's on fire!" He choked out between gasps of breath.

Grenshaft grasped Zel by the arm. "Fly us there!"

Without hesitation, Zelgadiss ordered him to "hold on!" while he cast his Levitation spell and supplemented it to carry both men at great speed into the air. He couldn't hear the gasps of shock over the roar of the wind. As they flew over housetops, past gardens, rising for a better view, Zelgadiss had to shout so the other man could hear.

"What made you think I could fly us _both_?"

"I didn't, but you've been able to float far greater weights, the deer, our supplies, the loaded cart. It was the first thing that came to mind."

Neither man wanted to speculate aloud about what might have happened or what they might find. Zelgadiss spotted the plume of smoke seconds before Grenshaft called it to his attention.

"Over there! I can see the flames!"

"I see it. It isn't too large, yet. I can put it out with a spell." Knowing that, his mind cleared to consider the circumstances. "How could this have started? I'm positive that I doused the kilns properly."

"I'm just as certain you did too. This was intentionally set."

"What? You think someone did this to us? Why?"

"Yes, I do. We can discover who later, right now, I believe I see a group of men in retreat. Set me down and I'll catch up with them. I think I know where they're headed. Just...take care of the smithy, okay?"

Zelgadiss assured him he would as they dropped out of the sky at the edge of the property. Grenshaft took off at a run while Zel summoned a combination a spells and rose instantly straight up into the air.

"Freeze Arrow!" he shouted, releasing the first spell.

He continued to fire of alternate forms of the freezing spell, sucking out the air fueling the fire and encasing all the hot elements in frost and ice. As the fire snuffed out, he shot off more shamanist magic to dry off the wood and metal materials with gusts of wind, all the while keeping himself aloft. The continuous use of multiple powerful castings finally took their toll on his energy, and he sank slowly to the ground. When his feet touched the ground, he finally looked around at the damaged building and noticed a few of the neighbors with tools still batting out loose sparks blown about earlier in the fire. Some of the swords he and Grenshaft had completed were stacked in chaotic piles where the men had attempted to save what they could of the building's contents. Warmth swelled inside him. He never appreciated how good-hearted their neighbors were. He owed them a multitude of thanks for their assistance and compassion.

One man, gray-faced, sweat soaking his clothes approached him. Zelgadiss thanked him profusely for all his efforts, but was interrupted. The exhausted man needed to have his say.

"No, not a total loss, yer right, but, ah... you need to have a look over here."

Zelgadiss followed the man to the wide grassy clearing which fronted on the path to the main road. There ugly inflammatory slogans had been burned into the weeds, the new spring grass shoots withered at the edges. Zelgadiss clenched his jaw and fisted his hands, feeling the blood flush his face with humiliation. It hadn't been accidental, as he had hoped, or the work of a madman, but a cruel and deliberate threat to his and Grenshaft's well-being.

He felt a hand on his arm and turned to see the neighbor looking down at him with red-rimmed eyes. "We'll catch the madman that done this, don'tcher worry yerself none 'bout that. Ye got enough to manage cleanin' that up."

Zelgadiss swallowed back his damaged pride and misery to thank the man again for his sensitivity and kindness. "I-I had better take a look inside, see what's still serviceable. Excuse me," he added, and then strode off, wondering what was keeping Grenshaft.

**End, part 5**


	6. Revelation

**Grenshaft**

**Zelgadiss meets an intriguing male companion, but will it prove to be his life-mate, or another disappointment? Warning: male x male bonding**

– **Part Six --**

**Revelation**

* * *

The fire marshal found the empty fuel starter container tossed into the brush and determined the cause of the fire to be intentional. The local authorities arrived to collect evidence and shake their head at the obscenities scribbled in fire. Zelgadiss watched, stern-faced but silently grieving over the ruins of Grenshaft's life work. It could all be rebuilt in time, but could it replace the lost feeling of security they once held? The intensity of hatred was apparent in the act, aimed directly at his partner's heart, making it anything but a senseless act. He was about to take flight in search of Grenshaft, when a disturbance distracted him.

Grenshaft appeared, towing Strom, the man's splotchy arms tied fast to his sides by his belt. Wild-eyed, Strom howled about comrades ripped apart by a bear and swallowed up by a gaping hole.

"Here's the man responsible," Grenshaft said, handing him over to the local constable. "He confessed to me, but he'll tell you all about it, I'm sure. I caught him and a couple of thugs from out of the area on their way to my house, I assume to torch it too. Ah... So how does it look, Zelgadiss?"

"The structure is salvageable. It won't fall today, but I wouldn't want to test the roof with a heavy snow. Neighbors hauled out the cart and a lot of our better merchandise, the rest is mostly okay. All in all, it will take some work to get it all back together, but had we been any longer it wouldn't have been as good an ending. On another note, what he wrote out there..." Zel gestured vaguely. "It's pretty nasty."

Zelgadiss noted how careless Grenshaft seemed. He merely nodded at the news and shrugged acknowledgment of the facts. His complacent behavior was at odds with Storm's crazed antics. Strom was shouting now, putting all his frustration, his hunger for violence, and his pride into a burning contempt for what he considered a lesser being.

"Yes, yes! I done it, or tried to. Such perversion is evil, especially with a _monster_!"

Zelgadiss winced at the term. It had been awhile since someone had called him that. "Strom was at the bottom of it, but not our other... friends, huh? Did he put up much of a fight? You don't look hurt, are you?"

"No, I'm fine."

Grenshaft was looking around at the gathering crowd. Half the town might show up before the night was done. Zel wondered what the man was thinking and wanted to ask, but there was no place for privacy.

"He's a monster, I tell yee all! He looks like a man, but he turned into this horrible creature and tore me comrades limb from limb. I don't know why he spared me... 'cept to come back and tell who done the torchin'." Strom pointed a dirty finger at Grenshaft and grinned diabolically. "Ye didn't think I'd tell what I saw, did ye? Shoulda killed me back there with the others, 'cause now I know what you really are and so does everyone else!"

The expression on Grenshaft's face was unreadable, and then it turned to one of pain mixed with anger. "You are sick man, and a fool, Strom. If anyone cares to believe the words of a madman, let them. The people of this town have known me for many years. They either trust me or not, although, after this, I hardly care what anyone thinks anymore."

All Zelgadiss wanted to do at that moment is gather the man in his arms and hold him, giving him the emotional support him as he himself had craved whenever cutting remarks had been directed his way. And why shouldn't he? He had lived too long to deny himself this last complete friendship and love. He held the other man in a firm grip, bringing him closer, and rubbing his back soothingly. Whether Grenshaft was consoled or not, it comforted Zelgadiss to share his warmth. He was delighted when Grenshaft encircled him in his arms, returning the embrace.

The town would have to face the truth, and some didn't like it. Fighting broke out in small groups. Things were said that were not truly meant, but said at the height of excitement and anger. Grenshaft and Zelgadiss broke apart only when a familiar voice shouted over the tumult, roaring orders, and subduing the crowd.

"It's Lieutenant Kei and his brother," Zelgadiss said. "What do you think he's up to?"

Grenshaft chuckled, surprisingly. "Coming to take us away after all?"

"I hope not. Oh, what a mess I've made of your life–"

Grenshaft startled him with his sharp reply. "Don't ever say that again. I meant what I said. I don't care about all this or what anyone thinks, but you. I'd give it all up in a heartbeat before letting you slip away. Do you understand? That is how I feel about you."

Zelgadiss searched his eyes for weakness, but they were unwavering. "I believe you."

At that moment, Kei rode close on his horse, and seeing them, dismounted, grinning. "You two seem to be at the root of all my troubles today. This place is yours, isn't it? I remember it from when I was younger. Will it be okay?"

Zelgadiss thought the man sounded sincere. He was emotionally exhausted. He didn't want another argument, although the rising ire from the belligerent portion of the mob was re-supplying his magical energy nicely, so that if it came to blows, he would be ready. He let Grenshaft handle the question.

"It is ours, yes." Grenshaft looked from Zelgadiss over to the blackened building, as if he were searching for answers in the scorched lines. "I don't know," he said at last. "With some work, perhaps the smithy can be up again in a few weeks, if my heart is into it."

The officer moved closer so he would not be overheard. "My offer is still open to you both. I can get you positions of authority where you might work together and be close at hand, so I can keep an eye on you, of course. There is trouble in the south. I could use a magician, especially a healer."

"What he means is that he wants you, but is willing to suffer my presence to get you," Grenshaft said to Zelgadiss, a smile curling the corners of his lips.

Zelgadiss admired how well his lover was holding up under the stress, smiling in spite of the situation. He admired Grenshaft in many ways, that being just another reason. He detested Strom profoundly and intensely for having sullied the image of Grenshaft before the town. They were waiting for him to speak.

"I'm a shaman, in particular. Are you telling me that you yourself can't use magic at all, lieutenant? I thought I felt the presence of it when we met earlier, at the Ram's Horn."

"Not at all. In fact, you are the first shaman, real one that is, that I have ever run into. I don't know what you were feeling, but I," and here the man waggled his eyebrows suggestively, yet with humor in his face, "felt something pretty magical going on."

"Such idiocy..." Zel fought back a blush as Grenshaft cleared his throat.

"Zelgadiss, would you like to go traveling?"

"With you, Gren, and on our own terms– maybe. I don't want to be bound by any man's commands, sorry lieutenant. We might accompany you as advisors, say, but not join the military. I said 'might.' This is our business. We have a home and life here, still. Maybe. I suppose we do, anyway."

The lieutenant straightened as his brother, Casey rode up to report on the situation. "I understand. That might work to our mutual benefit. I suggest that you two should rest on it a few days and allow the shock of all this to wear off. I plan to stay in town all week. I'll find you at that time and hear your decision. Until then, stay out of trouble. Good night."

He climbed back up onto his horse, finished dispersing the crowds, seeing to it that Strom was headed for proper disposal in the town jail, and then left with his men.

**The Slip**

That evening the two lovers retired to bed after agreeing not to think about the future until the morning. He could hear Grenshaft plump up a pillow and stuff it behind his head, and he could feel Grenshaft watching his back as he removed his shirt.

"Zelgadiss?"

Zelgadiss was a reserved man who had guarded his privacy all his life. He was content with their relationship, knowing that his lover had accepted all his quirks. He also was aware that Grenshaft was naturally curious, but had, so far, limited his prying to questions about his magic– nothing too personal. He had never pressed Zel to reveal incidents from an earlier period in his life. There was something in the tone of his voice this time, and the fact that the man wasn't diving immediately into foreplay, that told him things were about to change.

"You never tell me about yourself-- from before we met. You're not hiding a criminal past, are you?" He chuckled a little.

Zelgadiss stiffened. From the sound of his voice Grenshaft must have intended it as a joke, but it struck a sensitive nerve. His past was littered with dead bodies, petty larceny, and deceit, but also brave deeds and heroic acts. Zel believed that his present actions spoke for themselves, while his past was dead and buried with his friends, and he thought that Grenshaft had accepted this in silent agreement. Grenshaft had never questioned him about it before, and the peculiarity that he should choose now caused his natural defenses to cut in. Zel sighed guessing that he was wrong to feel that way, but still...

"Does it matter? I've lived a long time, and have done both good and bad things. What is it specifically you'd like to know?" Zelgadiss asked.

"I hoped you might tell me about a former lover or some memorable event in your love life. You know, I often wondered how close or how often my Zel has come to being in love before." Maybe he noticed Zel's distress, because he let up and changed the subject. "Come on, get in here and start warming up these sheets."

Zelgadiss complied, loving the other man's toned, slender body. Had Grenshaft ever really been that big and burly? Had he changed? It really did seem as if he were not the same man who first traded him gold for a rare knife. But he was, of that Zel was certain. He had watched him slowly change over time. It was all a matter of diet, a healthier life style, and good sex, or so he claimed.

"That's better. Now, as I recall, when you came to this town, you were traveling alone. Was this always the case for you?"

"No, I wasn't always alone. At one time I fought alongside a formidable group of talented people, including a princess and an infamous sorceress." Zelgadiss was pleased how, for the first time in ages, thinking of these lost comrades was not painful.

"Oh and how was Miss Lina the last time you saw her?"

Zelgadiss froze in place, his blood leaving his face to give him an ashen pallor. A terrible icy cold from a dread of change filled his chest. His world shifted on its axis, leaving him light headed with something akin to motion sickness.

"Dead," he said.

He remained motionless, his eyes riveted on Grenshaft's. There was no question about it; the man had revealed unintentionally a clue to his true identity. This Grenshaft was not the same man he had met at the beginning of winter, and although Zelgadiss had the sickening idea that he knew, deep down inside, who Grenshaft really was, he asked anyway.

"Who are you?"

"Me? Grenshaft, of course," the man smiled, but there was no warmth in it. He had made a slip, and Zel had honed in on it immediately. His face also lost all shred of color as the impact of Zel's roiling emotions hit him.

"No, you're not. Grenshaft wouldn't know Lina's name; I have _never _spoken her name. So, don't bullshit me." Zelgadiss lunged at the slightly larger man, but _only_ slightly, gripping his shoulders, and pinning his back to the bed. "Who _are_ you?"

"I believe you need not search your memory long for an answer to that."

Grenshaft broke eye contact, looking away. His black eyelashes made gray shadows on his ivory cheeks. There was no use hiding behind a mask; his secret had been revealed. He was hideously uncomfortable. He wanted to speak honestly to Zelgadiss, to brush aside the usual politeness and vagueness with which real emotion was hidden, but his voice caught in his throat. He didn't know how to face Zel's naked hunger for comfort behind his anger– it embarrassed him; it was personal, a debt between them.

"I-I owe you the truth, however--"

"Say it to my face, and don't you dare tell me it's some goddamned secret, either."

"You have already guessed." Grenshaft locked his violet eyes with Zelgadiss' and held them inches apart.

What began as a sneer came out in a gasp as Zelgadiss watched Xelloss drop what was left of his Grenshaft facade, while continuing to look him directly in the eye. Zelgadiss' face drained of color. "You..._are_ Xelloss. All this time..."

Xelloss nodded once, acknowledging the fact, and then neither man moved for the longest time.

The truth was a blow, not only because of who it was, but because of the deliberate act of deception in and of itself. Zelgadiss had been apprehensive on numerous occasions, wondering if there was more to Grenshaft than had met the eye. He had fought his suspicious nature so many times, to the point that he had speculated whether or not the man was an illusionist, knowing that Grenshaft's appearance was changing. He had even noticed the similarities between Grenshaft and the demon servant to the Dark Lord Beastmaster Zelas: a word here and there, a turn of phrase and a lilt in his speech pattern, an antiquated expression from a distant place. Had he put his mind to it, he might have recognized earlier who was concealed behind the mask, but his heart would not have permitted it. In fact, he had been prepared to ignore the possibility permanently, if Xelloss had not mentioned Lina's name. That error, Zelgadiss could not overlook.

"Xelloss... why? Haven't you the entire universe to explore with a nearly limitless number of creatures to torture? Why is it that you have chosen me to destroy this way? Is my pain so sweet that you can't just leave me alone?"

He wasn't upset just because it was _Xelloss_ lying beside him, but because it was the man he learned to love who had broken his trust. Grenshaft had convincingly demonstrated to Zel that he possessed profound depths of goodness and caring, which, in reality, had turned out to have been one big deceit. No member of the demon race was good to or cared a twit for members of the human race. That meant that Grenshaft was a fraud. It had all been a cruel charade. _Why had he done this? To what end? _

"Excuse me; I have one last act to perform today." Zelgadiss leap from the bed, marching straight to his room to find his old traveling knapsack. Inside, at the bottom was a small bottle wrapped in cloth. This he withdrew. He was about to uncork it and swallow the contents, when a hand grabbed his wrist, stopping his movement.

"Put that down."

"It is the only way I have to escape you. If I poison myself, I'll be rid of you and my trivial, tragic life. This time, you'll be glad to know, you have hurt me beyond repair. In a thousand average men's lifetimes I will not heal. I can never trust another. Be satisfied with that and leave me be."

Zelgadiss felt betrayed; he wanted to hate the traitorous demon in front of him. However, the more he stared, the less anger he felt. The years had suited Xelloss very well. His face was less beautiful in an obvious way. He had allowed time to age his features slightly; the lines in it made it subtler, more refined. It was a greater beauty because it had meaning: Xelloss had aged himself to match Zelgadiss' slight aging process and appearance. Still, Xelloss had knowingly misled him, for whatever reason.

And any reason the demon might have to interfere in his life heralded a bad outcome for Zelgadiss; it always had. It was better to bring about an end to his miserable life by his own hand, than suffer further torture from Xelloss.

**Time for Reckoning**

Zel's outpouring of grief forced Xelloss to wrench control over his features. He must not smile or sigh his contentment. Zel's agony was his ecstasy, in one sense, but in another it was his sorrow. He felt intensely close to his lover.

"I love you," Xelloss whispered, as if speaking quietly would lessen the impact. "... and I want to explain why I've gone to so much trouble to win you. How you feel is of profound importance to me, but you misunderstand the situation. Please don't despise me; that would hurt more than your rejection."

"How could you do this to me, and say you really cared about me, my feelings!" Zel croaked.

"I don't mean to seem insensitive," Xelloss said honesty, but with the shadow of a smile. "I hadn't meant for you to _ever_ find out who I was, although I was also afraid that this might happen. I should have prepared a proper speech, but I didn't. I love you, though, in spite of how badly I've handled this. I _can _explain."

"I should finish this. I would kill you, if I could, but regardless, I should end his now and die alone."

And for a moment, Xelloss was afraid that Zelgadiss would swallow the contents of the vial in his hands. All his efforts and planning would have been wasted. He tried to think of something more to say to make Zel change his mind, but he had said all the magic words he knew. "I love you." He grasped the hand holding the vial. "I love you. Please, listen. Please."

Zelgadiss tensed and Xelloss feared he might make a move, so he tightened his hold. Zel, however, remained poised, waiting. Xelloss caught his eyes and searched for some hidden meaning, and was surprised to find the icy glint melt.

"Against my better judgment I'll give you a moment. I'm listening. See? I've changed too. Instead of walking away from this affair, I'm going to hear you out first. This time you lured me in, not the other way around. It was different. You owe me explanations."

"You're right, I do. Thank you, Zelgadiss," Xelloss said in a near whisper. He drew a deep breath, and released Zel's hand. "After we parted that last unfortunate time..."

"_Unfortunate_? You tore me apart! You led me to think you cared, and then turned your back on me as if I was an insect, Xelloss! It was more than _unfortunate_, it was _brutal_."

"I know, and I am deeply sorry, Zel. I was unable to act differently at the time. I was aware of your feelings, and just as I wanted most to share the experience with you I was...deterred... by my superior."

"You had _feelings_ for me? Don't add more lies to tonight's performance. You want me to believe a demon can care about a human, after going out of your way to prove the opposite?"

"Yes, that's just what I'm saying, a part of it. I have always had deeper and more complicated emotions than any other demon from the moment of my creation, even more than my master. Lord Beastmaster told me that I was different in order to understand and fit in with humans and guess their motivations. This worked, taking me thousands of years to perfect and control. About the time my emotional growth had peaked, I ran into you while on assignment to follow Lina. Your honest passions, mixed with your demon, albeit extremely weak demon, makeup, triggered desire in me, and _that_ was strong. I felt wildly close to you, as if you kissed me, every time you looked into my eyes."

When Xelloss caught Zel's eyes at that moment, Zel looked away, his face burning. The man's hurt emanated from him in intoxicating waves, threatening to drown Xelloss in an overload of emotional energy. He watched as Zel set the poison on the dresser top, fingers trembling with the effort. It must have cost him a great deal of pride to turn and listen further, Xelloss thought.

"There–there were problems as a result," Xelloss began hesitantly. "Things I tried to hide, feelings I had to disguise... to think of... He went on fumbling for a thread of continued sensible thought. "My master detected the change immediately, and cut off my emotional connection from my astral form. It was blunt and immediate. I had no choice or ability to stop or control it. I was insanely cruel to you, something I am deeply sorry for, but I could not act otherwise.

"I went mad, in demon standards. The damage she caused me was far more traumatic than she had expected. Without my emotional intuitions, my resolve faltered, my faith in myself failed to sustain my power. I was useless, and so she returned me to a base demon state, my powers reduced in order to 'heal' me.

"It took me years to rebuild my corporeal form, and to formulate a plan to meet you again– to start fresh. You wouldn't have stayed, had you known who I was, and for your sake, I was prepared to live out our lifetimes together as Grenshaft, having buried Xelloss forever."

"But you changed. I knew it was unnatural. Why were you unable to hold the G-grenshaft form?" Zel's voice caught when he said the name of his beloved, a man who was now suddenly as good as dead.

"My power is reduced still, for other reasons, but it is also likely that it was an unconscious desire to have you accept the real me– to love _me_, and not my creation. Probably a little of both."

Xelloss reached out and touched Zel's face experimentally, stroking an embedded stone in his chin. "My feelings for you were real then. They _are_ real now. I never mislead you about that. I desire you, yes, but I want to please you as well, and for that I am what you might consider an outcast now. If I am ruled by my emotions, then I make a poor servant, an unreliable priest, and a weak general to my master. Useless, I think she described me. I don't think she expected me to revive on my own and to amass as much power back into my astral form as I have, at least that's why I think my master stopped calling on me. Not that it matters now."

1Xelloss could feel that Zel felt sorry for him as well as harbored deep-seated distrust of him.

"I can't help wondering what secrets you are hiding now. It didn't seem possible that you are the same Xelloss I knew before. And yet..." Zel's voice trailed off a moment. "Like an experiment gone bad, both of us. You, an independent-thinking demon who loves, and me, an enchanted composite of human and demon. Outsiders, outcasts both." He smiled wryly at his own conclusion. "So, do I call you Xelloss or Grenshaft?"

Xelloss met his eyes instantly filled with surprise and hope. "It doesn't matter. Unless you forgive me and love me, I won't bother to keep any human body or walk on this plane of existence any longer."

"It's...hard..."

Xelloss waited, breath held, hoping.

"But, I think we can patch things up. You don't know how much I...cared for you, a long time ago. I so want to believe you."

Xelloss let out a sigh and closed his eyes, relaxing his body. "Thank you."

"I can be generous."

"Yes, yes...thank you. You know something, though? In the end, looking back, it's all been worth it. I had to earn your affection and learn how to return it– very rewarding in itself– immensely more so only knowing that you understand, or want to."

"You're no longer the second in command to your master, and you say falling in love was worth it? You are one strange demon, Xelloss."

"That's what I've been saying all along! What I did was even more impressive when you consider what I had to work with. How could you find room in your heart for me, when you were so filled with self-loathing? You hated yourself, I think, because of the miserable state you were in."

Zelgadiss snorted. "I didn't despise myself for my misery, I was miserable because I despised myself."

"Ahhh..." Xelloss smiled weakly. He wanted to put them both at ease and talk about something else. He decided to return to his first line of questioning as he edged Zelgadiss away from the dresser and onto Zel's bed. "So, I'm still curious about your old friends."

Zel, retaining his masculine dignity, said with slightly stiff politeness, and not a great deal of truth, "I have no idea what interest you might have in the past."

"Tell me, what happened to Princess Amelia?" Xelloss' voice dried in his throat. He hadn't expected Zel to keep secrets of his past. He was suddenly worried that Zel had a past to hide.

"I was a part of the Seyruun court, under Princess Amelia." A slight smile touching his lips as if the memory were sweet.

"Did you _work_ with her long?" Xelloss asked, meaning had Zel liked her, or married her even, but afraid to ask so directly. He had no right to probe his feelings. Their friendship was tenuous, more a thing of length of time than a depth of understanding or trust, still. They had shared grief, terror, and experiences in the past, but at the same time they had been very different, very separate beings, aware then only of aloneness.

"Yes, until her death and that of her husband."

"Then, you didn't marry Amelia? I thought you two were in love."

"It was what I believed at the time," Zelgadiss retorted with a dry laugh. The humor was reflected in his eyes, but there was hurt in there as well. "But actually she couldn't touch me. Oh, I had the bloodlines, being an heir to Rezo the Red Priest, but physically we were not compatible. I took an assignment in charge of a regiment and remained on border patrol until her death. You shouldn't look too happy, you know."

"Forgive me, again, Zelgadiss. Ah, so was there anyone...else?"

"You mean: have I been in love before? If that what you've been driving at all this time? You are insecure, aren't you? Okay, then, yes. Once I misspent my feelings for a demon. It ended badly, as you've recalled."

Xelloss winced. "I remember every detail of my cruelty. I was not able to return your feelings at the time, as I explained. I am truly sorry, Zelgadiss."

"I know. So, does that mean you can return my feelings _completely_ now?"

"I have done my best."

"_Grenshaft_ loved me, not you."

"I _am_ Grenshaft, dammit Zel! I used him to learn and to become human, from the ground up, you might say. I wanted to deserve your admiration, and return it in kind. I thought you understood what I said."

"I did. I just wanted to confirm the details. You see what I can't understand is the 'why?' Why me? Certainly there must have other chimeras with similar enough qualities to be more suitable than me. A female, for instance."

"I'm afraid that it was you and you alone who caught my eye. You are unique in many ways, all of them attractive to me. Would you like me to itemize?" Without waiting for an answer, Xelloss continued. "First, you have a powerful aura, far more than a human requires. You may grow to match your famous relative in strength over time. Oh, and power is very sexy, you know. Then ..."

But Zelgadiss wasn't listening. Not much. "Xelloss. I want to know the entire explanation. The truth. All of it. Now."

**End, part 6.**


	7. The End

**Grenshaft**

**Zelgadiss meets an intriguing male companion, but will it prove to be his life-mate, or another disappointment? Warning: male x male bonding**

– **Part Seven –**

**Understanding**

* * *

"Let me try to explain with a story–"

"Forget the story. I want no elaborations. I don't want to guess at what is fact and what is fiction." Zelgadiss leaned close and spoke slowly. "Start at the beginning and leave nothing out."

"Oh! Okay, well then... I'm going to tell you things I've never told another soul." Xelloss fell backwards onto Zel's bed, hands behind his head.

Zelgadiss liked the way Xelloss' eyes glittered with pent up excitement. Grenshaft– Xelloss, the facial expressions were the same, his choice of words, the vocal inflections; only the final details were different. He would have to adjust, if he decided to accept this demon's word, in the end. He sat on the side of his bed and watched as Xelloss stretched, then curled closer to him. "I'm all ears, Xelloss."

"Very good! Well, my job having to do with Lina Inverse had been completed– let me start there."

"You can _start_ with that; what was that job exactly?"

"Well, now, that takes us back a bit further. She had an older sister, I don't know if you knew that."

"Yes, her name was Luna. Lina mentioned her occasionally. I think she was in awe of Luna's reputed, superior magical capabilities."

"Luna, yes. Did you know that she was also a Knight of Cepheid?"

"No, does that matter? Of course, or you wouldn't have mentioned it. So, does being a knight to the gods signify?"

"Oh, my... Well that takes us back even further."

"Xelloss..."

"I'll make it brief. Thinking back to the age of the Dragon and Demon wars, the Demon Lords created the mid-level demons–"

"Like you."

"Yes, like me, to take the fighting far and away while the lords maintained their outposts along the Great Barrier. The barrier was created to restrict the movement of the Dragon Gods."

"I remember crossing that numerous times. We are on the ancient 'Gods' side now, correct?"

"Right you are! The Dragon Gods didn't have an answer to us middle management types, though. They were organized differently into clans and tribes with their own leadership; Milgasia being one of the Golden clan leaders, if you may recall him?"

"Yes. He maintained a guard over a manifestation of the Claire Bible, which Lina used to learn how to defeat the Hellmaster."

"Correct. Dangerous material there. Even Lord Gaav was unable to destroy it although he could enter the general astral area containing it. Anyway, back to Luna. The dragon gods saw an opportunity to enlist the help of the primitive, but rising, newcomers to this part of the world."

"Primitive... you mean humans beings?"

"Yes! Humans were ready to construct shrines and pray to the gods. Exceptionally strong sorcerers, like Lei Magnus, came along who dabbled in both dark and white magic, but most men feared the demon race and worshiped the dragon gods. Some were especially gifted white mages and they were rewarded, given special gifts, not powerful ones mind you, but somewhat glamorous ones."

"The Knights, you mean? What about the elves? Didn't they get involved?"

Zelgadiss couldn't help getting pulled into the conversation. As much as he vacillated between wanting to blast Xelloss off the face of the world and wanting to take him in his arms and kiss him, he craved the answers to long unanswered questions that only the demon could tell him. It was an opportunity he couldn't let pass him by; besides, the demon had said he loved him. He couldn't possibly, Zel was afraid, but he was most certainly changed. The Xelloss he knew from the past would never have revealed his secret knowledge. And of course, the Zelgadiss of the past would never have controlled his emotions long enough to listen, under the circumstances.

"Not really. One or two rebel elves, perhaps, but in general the elves would take no sides with or against either the dragons or us."

"Okay, so go back to explaining the gifts from the gods."

"Appointments. These select few humans were given appointments to an elite guard called the Knights of Cepheid, or whichever other of the gods they chose to be associated with in name. Over time, the significance of the title passed out of use, except in the case of Luna's particular sect– a particularly old one in Zephillia where not only the use of the title continued, but some surprisingly powerful magical ability remained attached to it as well."

"And Luna is one of them. I get that. So, what has that to do with your orders to follow Lina?" Zelgadiss recalled him back to the original question.

"Not very much, in fact!" Xelloss said, smiling a moment. "But let me try and put it to you from another point of view. My Lord Beastmaster Zelas had little to do once the wars were over. Both the numbers of the dragons and the demons were drastically reduced, so she turned her attention toward the humans. Your race had been considered our source of sustenance, while dragons had been our sport, but now you humans were spreading fast and multiplying. There had to be more use to put you to, right?"

"You could have left well enough alone, gone off into the distant corners of the world, and faded into the astral plane altogether," Zelgadiss suggested.

Xelloss winced, shadowing his eyes to hide the pain they reflected. "That isn't nice. We are living creatures with as much right to existence as anything else."

Zelgadiss looked up sharply, considering the words carefully. "I suppose you're right, but speaking from the prey's point of view, the necessity or rights of the predator are secondary to our own."

"Ahhh, I guess that's true."

The two men sat in silence a moment longer then Zelgadiss touched Xelloss' hand, prompting him to continue. It was a particularly sensitive gesture from him. Xelloss shook his head, causing his silky hair to shimmer in the low candle light.

"My lord and master ordered me to follow the sibling of the Knight of Cepheid and train her to be a dark-magic balance to Luna– all in secret, of course."

"A-a Knight of Shabranigdo?"

"In some respects, yes."

"But why? To what purpose? Luna wasn't put to any particular use by the Gods, that I know of."

"That's what troubled me– I didn't know why. Orders were not often paired with logical explanations, you see. Just so you understand, then, this is my informed opinion here... I think that the demon lords were getting bored, hanging out dutifully at their isolated outposts with little to do and little power to do it. They started looking–"

"Little power?" Zelgadiss interrupted. "I'd say Gaav and Phibrizzo were hideously powerful, when I encountered them."

"You are thinking by human standards. My race _is_ magic; wielding it is part of our nature, power to control it defines us. The demon Lords, by creating us of the mid-level management, reduced their own power markedly."

"I didn't know that and I'm sure Lina never knew that either."

"Not something to circulate, I'm sure you can agree? Anyway, by the end of the wars, Lord Grauscherra's general, Sherra, and myself were the only middle-ranking demons remaining. Well... actually, there was one other exception. Lord Gaav had created two servants of somewhat lesser quality and left them at his stronghold. He led his own attack, killing the Water Dragon God, who in turn sealed Lord Gaav in a human body, curtailing his movement significantly. His servants, whom you met...ah...Kanzel and Mazenda, were–"

"What about Valgaav? He served Gaav, as I remember."

"During the wars, Valgaav was only a child. It was not until he grew up that Lord Gaav made him his general and a secret from everyone, I believe. You see, Lord Gaav had become something of a free spirit, which meant a renegade to the demon race, and powerful misfits like him were dangerous. My Lord Zelas lent me to Lord Phibrizzo in order to collect information on Lord Gaav-- the whereabouts of his hidden lair, his plans, that sort of thing. Even I didn't go deep enough into his lair to discover his resurrected Ancient Dragon/demon creation turned general, but I knew he was hiding something very powerful."

"And so you combined orders to take on the Gaav problem and train Lina, right? You led her around, tested her, developed her skills, but that was pretty risky, wasn't it?"

"I had a few breaks, but I didn't think Lina was 'the one.' I argued the case that the Knight should in fact be you, the only progeny of the Great Red Priest Rezo."

Zelgadiss stiffened, his eyes widening in shock. "Me?"

"Certainly! You're potential was superior in many ways. The chimera conversion should have killed the average human, but you lived and were able to use far stronger magic than nearly any other human, certainly more astral attacks."

Zelgadiss nearly smiled, but then he recollected where he was and who he was really with. Xelloss, not Grenshaft. A twinge of pain shot through him and he frowned. "My skill is primarily as a shaman, not in the dark arts."

"You never learned, but you could pull off a Dragon Slave of Lina's level with the proper instruction. You have the strength. That was what I told my Lord Zelas. I believed you to be the higher status sorcerer, but she was caught up in the 'balance Lina against Luna' logic when she decided to choose Lina over you. I couldn't disobey orders, so I found a way to follow both of you. I stole the Red Priest's Orihalcon statue and planted it on some bandits passing Lina's path."

"You did what?" Zelgadiss' expression was incredulous. "You set that up?"

"Purposely, yes. It was my hope to bring you along, to train you as well as Lina."

"That's... unbelievable! Did you know Rezo contained a fragment of Shabranigdo, too?"

"Not until you did, surprisingly. The Great Red Priest shielded the force within him absolutely." Xelloss frowned; the memory of the event was disagreeable. "I am certain my master didn't know either. I had a strange feeling that none of the dark lords were excited about a return of a master to bow to."

Zelgadiss was surprised by that revelation, but didn't want to disrupt Xelloss train of thought again, so he held his tongue as Xelloss continued.

"And then, at that auspicious moment I was recalled, in a most untimely manner, by Lord Phibrizzo. Again, my suspicion was that the Lords in their idleness had turned their attentions inward among themselves. Lord Zelas wanted to build her own empire, while the Hellmaster Phibrizzo chose to concentrate his energies on ridding himself of Lord Gaav first, then expand his territories. Lord Zelas didn't share her intelligence with him, but had no qualms using me to steal information from the Hellmaster. You must understand, the Lord Hellmaster had no understanding of Lina's power, Gourry's Sword of Light, or your existence, having few minions to gather information for him, I guess."

"He was insane, Xelloss. The Lord of Nightmares destroyed him to save the world from his insanity."

Xelloss smiled and cocked his head. "She has the ultimate say, of course."

"Why didn't you pass on the news you learned about us to Hellmaster?

"I couldn't report to him what I learned for Lord Zelas, by her command. In any case, Lord Phibrizzo picked a bad time to call me for assistance, and when I told him that a piece of the Great Lord Shabranigdo was about to become freed from it's human shell, instead of leaving me in place to supervise and possibly provide him first-hand information, he commanded me not to interfere. I was ordered to go looking for Lord Gaav's secret lair. It was quite irritating, but Lord Hellmaster Phibrizzo was marginally of a higher rank than my Lord Zelas, so I could not refuse or sabotage his order."

Zelgadiss was shaking his head, hardly believing what he heard. "You were involved way back then--" He looked up, catching Xelloss' eyes and holding them. "You never said...you never told us..."

"I kept my secrets, back then." Xelloss smiled and chuckled a little. "But times change, and so do people."

He revealed a vulnerability in his open eyes that Zelgadiss couldn't deny. This was a very, very different Xelloss than he had known before, the man he had been so infatuated with. That Xelloss had never really existed. He had been a demon in a man's disguise. This was the man whose love he had wanted in the past-- one that would not have rejected him. He was Grenshaft; he was Xelloss.

"So where was I? Oh, yes, by the time I returned to find out how Lina, you, and Lord Shabranigdo were faring, it was all over and you had taken off. I won't bore you with the details, but I had my work cut out for me to balance Lina, you, the copy Rezo, and Zanaffar. It all turned out okay, but your training was falling behind, mostly due to your frequent solitary jaunts."

"I was hunting for a cure to my condition," Zelgadiss said wistfully.

"Indeed. So while Lord Zelas was waiting for Lina to fulfill her destiny, Lord Phibrizzo commanded me to destroy Lord Gaav before he could hatch any dangerous plans and infect the demon race with his maverick ideas. Apparently, Lord Gaav didn't have to follow anyone's orders or even play nicely with his peers. I was pleased to catch you in Lina's company when the Outworlders arrived on the scene."

"So, when did Phibrizzo learn about Lina and the rest of us?"

"He was curious about what I was up to and followed us. That's when he decided I couldn't do the job. He had to destroy Lord Gaav himself, after I'd located him. Unfortunately, he observed Lina's destructive power and the Sword of Light at that time."

"So, when Gaav tried to wring your neck and pound information out of you concerning Phibrizzo's plans, you could have told him that you were simply ordered to locate him-- couldn't you have? No big deal, I would have thought, to have saved yourself a beating and give away so little information. It was Zelas' plan that was far more convoluted."

"But it was so much fun annoying the bastard!" Xelloss laughed aloud. "Ho, ho... and besides, Lina felt sympathy for me and used her strongest spells after that. I think it all worked out."

"You're right, it was useful that way," Zelgadiss said thoughtfully. His eyes narrowed as he tried to get Xelloss to look at him squarely. "That next fiasco began when Filia came looking for Luna, who was too busy to help Filia decipher her prophecy, and found Lina to take her job instead. Don't tell me you set that one up too?"

"Guilty!" Xelloss smiled with a touch of embarrassment. "I certainly hadn't counted on Valgaav being resurrected from the Ancient Dragon race, or having to battle Shabranigdo's counterpart from another dimension, or Lina learning chaos magic or being possessed by the Lord of Nightmares, and I failed at your instruction in black magic. It all turned out in the end, and Lord Zelas was particularly pleased to be the highest level demon lord remaining in the hierarchy by the end of the day."

Xelloss' face became deadly serious. "Which started the new problem."

"Does that have anything whatsoever to do with you deceiving me, twice?" There was a definite edge to Zel's voice at this time.

"Yes. Everything. I thought with the job done and everything, that I could pursue you and your training. Lord Zelas had her Lina-knight and I could have you. It began wonderfully, I thought, you and me, traveling together." Xelloss looked over at Zelgadiss, hoping for agreement, but Zel wasn't going to help him out at all.

"Lord Zelas detected my developing attachment toward you. Oh, it was real and highly un-demon-like. I was her bonded servant, created to serve her will, not have one of my own. I was torn between by nature and this new emerging person I was developing into. It was difficult and I know I failed. I was terrible to you, and in the end, she threatened me with certain annihilation if I didn't drop you as a project and return to her command. I could do neither. I couldn't forget you or refuse her, leaving her no choice but to demote me, as I said before. I hadn't the ability to deny my master, Zelgadiss. Not then, but I promised myself that I would and that I would find a way to right the wrongs I had done to you."

"So you turned me away under orders and threat of death?"

"Yes, as I was fighting insanity, otherwise I would have learned, eventually how to love you as you deserved."

"And train me in dark magic?"

"That too, yes." Xelloss scooted back on the bed and leaned against the headboard.

"And you were called away– that's why I didn't see you for so long."

"Yes, I lost my powers and vegetated. However, as I found a way to revitalize myself, I tried contacting you from the astral plane through your dreams. I tried to make them pleasant."

Zelgadiss blushed. "Those erotic dreams– I didn't know that was you." He cleared his throat and looked away, fighting back his strong feelings. With a sigh, he rested his weight in a new position on the bed. "So, then what happened? How did you come here and set up this...farce?"

"I want you to understand--" Xelloss began, and then stopped. "I hope you will and I hope you'll find a way to forgive me. All right, so as soon as it was possible, I sought out my only demon peer, Sherra. It took time, but from her I learned that Grauscherra was also interested in accumulating power, destroying his rival Deep Sea Dolphin. More surprising to me, I found that Sherra was eager to branch out, gain her independence, just as I did. Why this was happening to us, I can't say, but it was. We agreed that we were trapped in our roles as long as our masters were alive, and so we did the unthinkable; we plotted their destruction."

"No--"

"Oh, yes... yes..."

**Final Acceptance**

"To shorten the story, Sherra and I joined forces, tricked Lords Grauscherra and Zelas into attacking one another, and then in some magic of our own which caused the two lords to obliterate each other."

Zelgadiss shook his head, barely comprehending what he had heard. "That's just not possible, is it?"

"I'm here, whole, and choosing my own course of action. That should be proof enough, because I haven't anything else to offer but my word on it."

"And so you came after me."

"I was a traitor to my race. You must understand, with the passing of the dark lords, nearly every underling vanished. They were sucked into the void, into the timeless oblivion of the chaos from which they were formed."

"A-all the demons? But not you, or Sherra, I assume?"

"Correct. We protected ourselves, absorbing a large proportion of the energy into our astral projections."

"Projections. You mean your human forms. Why not protect your astral bodies instead?"

"Because we ... liked them. They grow on one with time, you know?"

"Not mine, particularly, but go on."

"Okay. We suspected that our actions might result in the decimation of our race, and had come to terms with it."

"So there are no remnants of your race anywhere, except you and Sherra?"

"Correct."

"That's close to unbelievable. What are you not telling me?"

"Only how I got to be Grenshaft, I think. You see, I needed you, your friendship again; it was all I had left, that all-encompassing need. Following the destruction of the dark lords, I was bound to my human form and substantially weakened, so much so that I couldn't locate you. I did have time to think and I came up with a plan. I found a family with ailing son, transformed into him. I became Grenshaft on his death."

"Meaning you killed him."

"I helped him pass in peace, without pain. He was going to die."

"All humans are going to die. Anyway, you were saying..."

"When his parents grew old, I took over the smithy entirely, and when they died, I buried them. All the time I was searching for you, hoping that you had survived and outlived your human mortal limits. And when I touched your mind, I sent you a manifestation of how I felt."

Zelgadiss blushed again thinking back on those vivid sexual encounters.

"Well, that was one way to perceive affection," Xelloss smiled. "And lured you, eventually, to the town."

"But how did you know I'd come to love Grenshaft?"

Xelloss shrugged. "If it was to be, then it would happen. I couldn't force you to love me or accept me, then...or now."

Zelgadiss leaned forward and brushed the hair shadowing Xelloss' eyes. Had he ever in his life known what love was– passionate, unconditional, and limitless like the sky above, love which never faded or withdrew? Yes, Zelgadiss answered without question. He had loved Grenshaft that deeply, but would that translate directly to loving Xelloss? He examined the man sitting, tense, arm's reach away. Their eyes trapped in each other's searching gaze. He was still taken aback by how beautiful Xelloss eyes were, and how much his heart ached to believe that he could attain fulfillment with him.

"You did all this... for me?" he asked at last.

Xelloss nodded slowly. "Nothing else matters."

Zelgadiss softened, and then relented entirely, succumbing to Xelloss' offering. "Then what else can I do but forgive you completely?"

Zelgadiss allowed himself the pleasure of being kissed, at first tentatively and then more passionately as his demeanor permitted. For the next several minutes they reaffirmed their affections with gentle touches and caring words. When Xelloss thought it was safe to return to his original topic, he bit Zel lightly on the nose.

"Hey!"

"So, am I your first love, really?"

"Yes."

"And you are mine. How nice." Xelloss smile was smug. "Well, I can't see any reason for us to remain here. You've been subjected to suspicious looks for too long. You deserve better, and I know a place where we can go and be welcome."

"And give up everything?"

"Things matter so very little, don't you think? I have plenty of money. What I don't know is how much time we have."

"Why? You're not mortal, are you?"

"I have no idea. I am altered and I don't know how fixed I am in this world. You don't know the length of your lifetime either. Life is a mystery."

Xelloss hopped off the bed, instantly changing his clothes. As he had been everyday since Zel had first met him, traveling in the company of Lina, Xelloss was simply dressed in his traditional priest's costume, and his sleek, dark hair was brushed almost to a polish. His handsome face, with its delicate features and its humorous eyes and mouth, was set in lines of perfect composure. He held out his hand to Zelgadiss. "Coming?"

The most powerful emotion in him was still the longing to be with Xelloss, to share his thoughts, his ideas, and experience the things he loved. He imagined walking across a wide beach with him at his side, the smell of the dawn wind of the sea, and the clouds piled and shredded in veils of light. The loveliness of it would fill him till he could scarcely contain it, and he would turn to him, and know he saw it with the same bursting heart that he did. And in that sharing all loneliness would vanish.

Zelgadiss tightly grasped Xelloss' gloved hand, letting the man pull him to his feet. "Let me get my bag. I have a few things to pack."

"I'll send all our personal effects on ahead, and all the salvageable swords, and...what else?"

"What about this house?"

"Who would you like to leave it to?"

"Let's make it a special gift to Alice; it is her birthday."

Xelloss nodded, whipping out the deed from thin air, signing it, and sending it of into the ether. "Okay, then–"

"Ready."

"We both are, at last."

**The end, Grenshaft.**

**Hope you all liked it!**


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